Emerging from submarine condition (sort of)
It's been a long long time since I've written anything here at all. Maybe I've just gotten lazy or maybe blogging has ceased being a part of my life. There are a lot of times when I thought about posting something up - a lot of times when I feel so dissatisfied with life, a lot of times when I have things to rant and a lot of times when I feel like rambling on like an idiot on inconsequential things - but every time, I let the urge to blog past me by and I go on with life.
Sometimes I think that blogging has become a bit overrated and there is not much point in having one since what I want to say (most times) is not what I can say out loud. There used to a be time when I have friends visiting this blog and it may be this that stopped me from posting anything controversial or it could be me having a rather uneventful life for the past few years that did not merit any mention at all. I have entertained the thought of starting a new anonymous blog where I can rant and bitch for all I want but this is neither here nor there.
So why this post after so long? Well, I was reading Cheng Yee's blog and I'm inspired by how she does not spare the details to talk about her life so on impulse and before I know it, I'm here.
What do I have to say anyways? Nothing much, really. I'm swamped with work, stress, guilt for not doing much despite the work and stress, and a draft skeleton argument in front of me that I know I have to finish by today and review a few times before my submission date this Thursday along with a whole bunch of mind-boggling other things to do. And to top it off, CNY is on Thursday and I'm stuck in the UK feeling sad as I read all the FB status updates of people going home or preparing for CNY.
Sometimes I am amazed by my ability to crap bullshit and write words upon words of nonsense but I cannot write a 6-page, 1.5 spacing, Arial font 11 paper without having to spend HOURS pouring and contemplating over it. This is probably the point when I asked myself why did I do Law again. But I guess this is a moot point now. I'm too far gone to entertain hypothetical what-ifs and if there's one thing that the Bar has did for me is to make me actually enjoy advocacy and I can see myself as a lawyer in the future. The only setback, no thanks to my indulgence in ignoring the real world back in Malaysia, is that I'm 2 years being everyone who graduated with me and I feel left out sometimes as I will have to be chasing after them when I go home, which leads to my reluctance to go back home for good. I like the weather here - although why everyone I told this seemed shocked by this, I have no idea. Who the heck likes the hot, sweltering weather back home? It's nice and cool/cold here!
What's the point of the post again? If I have to choose something, it's probably that hopefully this will end the blog hiatus for good so that I can continue cataloging my life for memories' sake in the future. Or maybe, it's time to switch to anonymity or lock the blog...
