memento vivere

FUCKING PISSED

2011-02-28T23:25:00.004Z

OMG, just received a chain message from some fucking retards from uni trying to get people to sign a petition to complain about the exam content, and a whole load of other shit, of the ADR assessment we just had and I got sooooo FUCKING PISSED that I just need to blog this out.

Among the fucking lame and non-substantiated complaints the dimwitted retards, who OBVIOUSLY did not put in fucking enough effort to study for the assessment and are now trying to come up with something to get their passes, came up with are:

1. The questions were UNNECESSARILY long and not like the ones in the Mock - Seriously, WTF?!!! Just fucking read faster la!!! You expect the questions to be exactly the same as the ones in the Mock so you can score every single on, isit? Fucking idiots.

2. Some of the questions were unnecessarily hard and is not like the ones in the Mock - So just because it's not as easy as you thought it is then you think there's grounds for complain la? Does it ever occur to you that if you have studied enough, you wouldn't find the questions hard AT ALL? I put in my fair share of studying and I do not find them UNNECESSARILY hard lo, true we need to think a bit for some but it's not rocket science, dudes! Re the Mock, refer above AND we have been reminded that the structure of the Mock will not be exactly the same and it is just to give us a feel of the assessments. Remember that repeatedly being told in class? Wait, you would have been sleeping, right? Imbeciles.

3. In the Mock, there is no question on this topic at all so a full 10marks on this topic is unexpected and a surprise - WOW, really a? Did you get tips eveyr time you have exams that you know EXACTLY what comes out so now you're so fuck ass lazy to study properly and just rely on the Mock which is just an exercise for you to test your level of knowledge and to give you a TASTE of the real assessment. Note the word TASTE and not a chance to do the ACTUAL assessment in the MOCK. Wake-up call: Exam questions very rarely duplicate the same structure of Mocks AND if you can survive without Mocks in your Undergrad years, why are you basing your pass or fail on this subject on the Mock alone? Too fucking retarded and ass shit lazy to study, right? FUCK.

4. The overall questions were UTTERLY unreasonable esp since the pass mark is 60% - Oh, so if the pass mark were 50%, it would be okay? Just because the passing mark has increased, the overall standard of the assessments have to be downgraded to accommodate all you lazy fuckers who don't want to put in some effort to study la? The what's the point of raising the pass mark? Use your brain once in a while AND the questions asked were not hard at all!!! Some a bit tricky, maybe but HARD? What's your IQ? Did you pay your way to get your degree? Fucktards.

5. Although advised to follow LGS and SGS materials, some questions were asked from areas not covered properly in SGS - I can personally vouch that EVERYTHING asked in the assessment can all be found in the LGS notes (coz I did my notes based on them and I know the answers to 90% of the paper) and most are covered in SGS. You're not supposed to rely ONLY on SGS OR LGS stuff and if you've bothered to even READ the LGS notes and do your revision properly, you would not have missed the one or two topics not covered in SGS coz we have been told that what we would be tested on!!! Fuckers.

6. Students relied on the LGS and SGS notes both because of tutor’s advice and because they did not get any study time before the ADR assessment; the time students od have is not sufficient at all to go through the huge ADR book - One, the HUGE book is so fucking thin compared to some law textbooks we've had so don't fucking exaggerate. Two, tutors have repeated time and again that you should use the notes as a GUIDE for revision and not as your Holy Bible, ok? Three, I had time to consolidate the LGS notes and add in my own notes in four days and study properly before the ADR assessment, just that I had around 10 hours of sleep in 5 days but it was worth it. Did it ever occurred to you fucking lazy asses to do that? That it could be done instead of going online, drinking, watching TV, sleeping or whatever else you deepshits do? To be able to pass your paper, you have to put in EFFORT! Do you expect to quickly GLIMPSE through everything and you'll be able to pass if you have not been consistent in your work or if you've never bothered to study properly??? Well, you can, if you're a genius or if you've a photographic memory -which you're obviously not since you're raising all these stupid complaints now, right? Lazy buggers.

7. Two topics were not covered and this was not taken into account in the questions set - Do you know that the two chapters only take up a total of approximately 20 - 25 pages in the HUGE ADR book? How long will take you to read it through? If you actually summarize them, the main point will only be one page for each topic. Do you know?!!! Just fucking spend your time studying instead of wasting your time after the assessment itself to come up with these stupid excuses for when you have to explain to your family why you fucking failed!!! Am sure this stupid thing was initiated by some spoiled kids who don't have to pay their fees themselves - if you have to, you would take the course seriously cos you wouldn't want to waste £15k of your hard-earned money, do you? Dumbshits.

8. There's not enough time to study and relax before the assessment- Fucking prioritize and manage your own schedule!!! In the real world, you would have to meet deadlines and a tight schedules as well. Think the world is a bed of roses is it? Time to wake up, you lazy asses!

9. There was some noise in the exam hall - Wahhh, nothing left to complain about isit? Just fucking concentrate on the assessment!!! I did not hear anything in the exam hall lo... If you have time to notice this, it means your monkey brains were so empty that you couldn't write anything and were damn free while looking around for divine intervention that you could hear the discreet noises, right? Morons.

10. We spent so much money on the course so they should not screw with us - Oh, just so you pay for the course you expect to pass la isit? How come it's so easy and I never know one? Should have told me earlier ma, then I don't have to study as well lo... Can follow you fucking slackers and play around all day la! FYI, they did not screw you, the questions are easy enough if you've actually studied!!!!!! Assholes.

END OF STORY: Fucking go study and don't complain if you've never bothered to put in the effort!!! Am seriously pissed off that some people think that the only thing to do to pass exams is not study but to make formal complaints about the exam questions. Just thinking is one thing but to have the gall and cheek to even raise this up is BEYOND BELIEF - what are you doing in the Bar course, or in any serious subjects of study for that matter, anyway if you're not going to take it seriously?

Okay, here's a pic of Gypsy dear to defuse my fury - ahhhh <3

Ah, the joy of blogging again!

2011-02-01T12:19:00.004Z

I'm super stressed with the stupid skeleton argument that I've been working on for 2 days, which would normally only have taken me a max 3 hours. Okay granted, I did not REALLY work on it 24/7 but this is getting dreary and tedious!!! I'm fucking second-guessing my structure and looking for multiple interpretations of the test to apply that I'm positively going crazy!!! Add to that, I still have OPW early tomorrow at 9-freaking-am and conference formal feedback the day after - this adds to a very unhappy Sam with lots of headaches. Why, oh, why did I not spend more time doing my stupid work over the weekend? Procrastination slightly cured but still a damn fucking long way to full recovery, FML X(

Just sent a suicide note to Miao - okay, I think it's really time to execute my plan to jump off London Bridge... *cue song* London Bridge is Tower Bridge, Sammy sam is jumping down, lalala ... *end cue*

Emerging from submarine condition (sort of)

2011-01-31T10:30:00.002Z

It's been a long long time since I've written anything here at all. Maybe I've just gotten lazy or maybe blogging has ceased being a part of my life. There are a lot of times when I thought about posting something up - a lot of times when I feel so dissatisfied with life, a lot of times when I have things to rant and a lot of times when I feel like rambling on like an idiot on inconsequential things - but every time, I let the urge to blog past me by and I go on with life.

Sometimes I think that blogging has become a bit overrated and there is not much point in having one since what I want to say (most times) is not what I can say out loud. There used to a be time when I have friends visiting this blog and it may be this that stopped me from posting anything controversial or it could be me having a rather uneventful life for the past few years that did not merit any mention at all. I have entertained the thought of starting a new anonymous blog where I can rant and bitch for all I want but this is neither here nor there.

So why this post after so long? Well, I was reading Cheng Yee's blog and I'm inspired by how she does not spare the details to talk about her life so on impulse and before I know it, I'm here.

What do I have to say anyways? Nothing much, really. I'm swamped with work, stress, guilt for not doing much despite the work and stress, and a draft skeleton argument in front of me that I know I have to finish by today and review a few times before my submission date this Thursday along with a whole bunch of mind-boggling other things to do. And to top it off, CNY is on Thursday and I'm stuck in the UK feeling sad as I read all the FB status updates of people going home or preparing for CNY.

Sometimes I am amazed by my ability to crap bullshit and write words upon words of nonsense but I cannot write a 6-page, 1.5 spacing, Arial font 11 paper without having to spend HOURS pouring and contemplating over it. This is probably the point when I asked myself why did I do Law again. But I guess this is a moot point now. I'm too far gone to entertain hypothetical what-ifs and if there's one thing that the Bar has did for me is to make me actually enjoy advocacy and I can see myself as a lawyer in the future. The only setback, no thanks to my indulgence in ignoring the real world back in Malaysia, is that I'm 2 years being everyone who graduated with me and I feel left out sometimes as I will have to be chasing after them when I go home, which leads to my reluctance to go back home for good. I like the weather here - although why everyone I told this seemed shocked by this, I have no idea. Who the heck likes the hot, sweltering weather back home? It's nice and cool/cold here!

What's the point of the post again? If I have to choose something, it's probably that hopefully this will end the blog hiatus for good so that I can continue cataloging my life for memories' sake in the future. Or maybe, it's time to switch to anonymity or lock the blog...

I want to talk to someone...

2010-11-28T18:32:00.003Z

My Thoughts Exactly =)

2010-01-17T02:07:00.003Z

taken from Postsecret

ARGH!!!

2010-01-07T00:22:00.003Z

Classic - first post since forever and it's only coz I have something to rant...

So here goes ~ WA TALAK SUKA WA MIA KERJA!!! No, make that WA BENCI WA MIA KERJA TERAMAT SANGAT!!!

Do I feel better now? Nope. So what's the point anyways? Beats me.

must... remember... live.life.

....

2009-07-08T23:26:00.003+01:00

Finally have my own lappie back!!! So happy!!!

Ah, the freedom of being to go online and use the comp any time I like ~ bliss-nyaaa!!!

Anyways a lot has happened over the past year that is not mentioned here - I dunno, I just did not feel like talking about them...

But when I first got my latop back last week, I had this sudden urge to talk about all the things that I've been meaning to, well, talk about - the search for a job, the interviews, my job now, what's happened since, trips to london and what I did for my annual leave (ya lar, lest people think I have no life leh)...

But then again, I got too lazy to do so - maybe it's coz there's too much to share and I don't know where to start gua =p

Anyways, promise will update soon, ya?

In the meantime, let's savor this BEAUTIFUL picture of my darling baby!!! (pity her hair's so much shorter now - mum says it's easier to manage T^T)

NEVERMIND, STILL GORGEOUS AND PRECIOUS AS USUAL!!! XD

Off sick

2009-06-01T12:29:00.003+01:00

Miss the the cold weather and the freaking snow - it's too effing hot nowadays!!! Which is probably the reason I had a freaking sore throat! That, and also coz I drink less water nowadays...

Anyways, had a very painful sore throat and was a bit feverish when I went to bed last night. Decided to sleep it off and go to work anyways.

Woke up at 6am this morning and my freaking sore throat is worse. Damn painful until cannot swallow. Could not even find the strength to go shower and the thought of enduring the bus ride to work was definitely NOT appealing.

So went back to sleep. Woke up at 9am and called in sick.

But the good (bad?) thing is I'm feeling much better 4 hours later (now la). Must be the Difflam and Pei Pa Ko that I've been stuffing myself. So technically, could have gone to work, but was worried that it might get worse coz there my body has the tendency of morphing a sore throat to a raging cough and fever lasting 2 weeks. My first ever sick day off from work - feel so guilty ><

Oh, well - what's done is done so might as well relax at home. And the better news is, I'm off on holiday tomorrow! Ah, a nice 5 day weekend!

And, and... I'll work for another 2 days next week then will be off again on annual holiday for the rest of the week and the whole of the week after that!!! =p

But the sad thing is I can't go travel abroad anywhere - my plan to go to Barcelona/Dublin/Belfast/anywhere is kaput-ed as the boyfriend's PSW application got rejected and no one else to teman me go hol =(

And the worst thing is, the application was rejected just coz there was one week missing from his bank statements!!! Stoopid kerajaan British sengaja mau tipu duit la coz now he has to apply again for a further £500!!! *heart pain*

Okay, very da random. Stopping now. Gonna go drink lotsa water and rest.

Ciao.

ps: so chamz, mouth itchy wanna makan but all the food at home is very da heaty and dry T^T

Culinary genius from yours truly

2009-05-26T22:32:00.011+01:00

Haven't been to London since CNY so were desperate for some nice egg tarts.

Bought some from Wai Yee Hong, the big Chinese supermarket here in Bristol (which is nohwere as nice as See Woo in Reading coz they do not stock yee mee - something which I have been dying to have since forever T^T), that were NOT good at all.

So attempted to make some myself. Went online to search for recipes. Then put bits and pieces together to suit myself.

Here's the result:

The first time, I tried with some cheap Yorkshire pudding which turned out not bad except for the fact that the fillings leaked through the pudding.

So the second time around, I made little aluminum foil to hold the filling in but it still leaked out.

Tried the third time with proper tart shells (ready-made ones coz I'm too lazy and lack the tools to make the pastry myself) but then I kinda put the heat on too high and was distracted by a movie so they turned out burnt. Even though it smelt dammmnnnn good and the filling did not leaked out!

Am quite sure I took photos of the burnt tarts - but cant seem to find them anyway -.-

Anyway...

Finally, fourth time's the charm!!! People who are closer to me know that 4 is my lucky number and this just goes to prove that it's true =p

See, see - so niceeee, right?

I'm a freaking genius, that I am =)

ps: will try to make the pastry if the mood hits me one day but in the meantime, i shall contend myself with the lazy girl's way ><

pps: need to get a nice good camera and practice my photo-taking skills to properly enhance the superb-ness of my culinary talent - do i hear any offers? XD

La~la~la~

2009-05-14T22:13:00.005+01:00

I miss home. The family. The home. The friends. The food. The social life. The freedom.

Here in the UK, although I'm living away from home with the parents halfway around the world, I find that I am more restricted than I ever was in Malaysia.

I am stuck in freaking Bristol where I had to endure a fucking 15 minutes shouting competition between a pair of drunk mother and son, who kept repeating the same things over and over again, in the fucking bus where there is nowhere to run. I have to take a stoopid 3-hours-minimum trip every freaking day to work and I have to run after buses every other day.

Not only that, I have to listen people yakking their mouth off on the phone arguing their freaking points in their annoyingly squeaky high-pitched voices for 25 minutes - and then, I have to put on a nice smiley tone to speak to the next caller on the phone (okay, I hate the first much so much more than the second one - in fact I don't mind the second part). I'm fucking stressed and tired with work. It's easy to switch off for the short time I'm at home and during weekends but the stress will always come back the next working day. Depressing.

I want to realise my dream to travel the freaking Europe when I'm here but I am somehow bound to this place. I want to get out and explore but yet I hold back - for what I really don't know.

Maybe it's because every single day is a fucking routine - even fucking weekends!!! It's not like I'm restricted in any way to seek adventures but I have just grown so used to the fucking routine that I just follow it blindly. Or maybe it's the age showing - as I grow older I become even more resistant to changes and more reluctant to break away from the normal course of my daily life.

Heck, even a trip to Cardiff has been postponed for over a month now when it is just a short train ride away!!! I'm so tired at the weekends that I just want to laze around or just go to town, rather than exploring a different town.

It makes me feel really melancholy sometimes to think that I am slowly losing my purpose of staying on in the UK - travel and/or make money. I am not freaking traveling every month - maybe I should. I am not making shitloads of money - decent enough but with the fucking bills and all, I'm not left with much.

It makes me wonder what is the purpose of my life. I am quite sure that I'll head back home at the end of next year- most likely. And then what? I don't want to be a fucking lawyer. So what do I do? I want to continue studying and travel for as long as I can. But the reality of life, the expectation of my parents and my responsibility as the oldest to set an example tie me down.

It doesn't help that I have practically no friends here - nada, zilch. There's no one to hang out with, to plan trips with, to travel with, to chat with, to shop with and to do girly things with. Most times, I hypnotize myself to think that it's not thattt important but there are just moments where the solidarity lifestyle of a recluse gets the better of me. No man is an island, how true that is.

And it definitely does not help that I have been without a fucking laptop for, what, close to 6 months now. I've lost the link to a lot of dear friends, especially the people who I've promised emails for ages.

But then again, it's my fault for being kiamsap and not willing to fork out moolah to get one. Also to blame is the blardee pride who will not accept the parents paying for a new laptop. It is especially my fault for not making more of an effort to keep in touch - but sometimes it just take too much energy and in the midst of all these, I really can't and don't feel like going that extra mile.

Sometimes I just want to fuck all this and go home. But I owe it to myself and to my dear loved ones who have the faith in me to prove that I can make it here.

I want to break away but I can't make myself. At the end of the day, the problem lies with me. I am the one making life miserable for myself. Maybe I am a sadomasochistic who enjoys seeing myself suffer. Disgusting.

So yes, what was meant to be a random rambling post has turned into a self-incriminating one to rant out. For those of you who think that life is rosy for me, well it's not. I know it's a bit of a poor-little-me post but we all have our moments so leave me be.

I'm hoping for a reprieve from all these dark thoughts that haunt me at random moments. I'm too tired physically and mentally to fight them.

Hola!

2009-05-04T13:39:00.006+01:00

It's been a while since I posted anything substantial here at all. Truth is, I have nothing much to talk about really. That, coupled with the lack of gung ho to blog, results in the lack of posts of late.

So what's new? Nothing much, really. Life has been pretty much routine and boring and non-eventful.

Every weekday I wake up at 6am, shower, dress, get on bus 48/49 or bus 5, go to the bus station, get on x39, read the newspaper, catch a short nap, walk to the office, sit down at my workstation, turn on the computer, log on the phone, get a (free) drink, sit down to sift through emails and outstanding diary, get to work, blog-hop (in the few that I can actually access to in the office) and surf a bit while waiting for the other side to pick up the phone or when I was just damn bored, lunch which consists mostly of more surfing or aimless walking around town for some fresh air, get back to work, wait for the clock to signal the end of the day, pack my stuff, clear the table, walk to the bus station, get on bus x39, reach the bus station, play mobile games or read while waiitng for bus 342, get on the bus, reach home, change, cook or chill while someone cooks, eat dinner, rest for a bit, shower and sleep - then the next morning, the whole cycle begins again for another 4 days.

Weekends are not that much different. I either stay at home the whole day just resting and cooking or I go to town occasionally for a breather.

I realize I've lamented the lack of excitement in life at least a couple of times already but really, this just goes to show how freaking boring and monotonic my life is.

Not that I'm complaining. Not really. I have a job which pays not much but affords me the independence and ability to take care of myself. I'm not dreading the CLP finals nor am I wringing myself with worry over the result of my BVC Final Assessment.

Instead, I go to work, do my job and I can switch off (literally) after 5pm and worry about the rest of the unfinished tasks the next day. So that's good... right? At least, I like to psyche myself to think this way.

Life is what we make of it, after all.

**************

Actually, the sombre tone of the above does not match the freaking title. So I'll change the topic and talk about something less depressing.

Now, let's see... Oh, right! It was my freaking-very-much-dreaded birthday like two weeks ago!!! So exciting, right? Actually, no. It only means that I'm another year older. Another year nearer to the big 3-0 *eeekkkk*

But nonetheless, I've had a special day thanks to a very special someone who went out of his way to make it a memorable one for me and for that I am very grateful and touched. It would have been a sucky non-event (as always), had it not been him. Got lotsa little surprises and gifts from him =)

Mummy and Daddy made my heart melt especially, since they woke up earlier than usual just to wish me at the stroke of midnight UK time and they kept on pressing me to buy anything I want and charge them for it *touched* But the perils of working is that I am damn paiseh to want anything from them la so I RELUCTANTLY declined ='(

A special thanks also to all those who wished me via Facebook (esp from Viv who always say she cannot rmbr anyone's birthday at all), smses (all the way from Malaysia, even), calls (even from lil bro in US but I missed his call =p) and cards. Even my colleagues/team members at work chipped in some money to get me something (yes, I went to work on my freaking birthday).

So all in all, it was not bad. But the fact remains that I am now officially twenty-freaking-three!!! Damn old, ok? Recent conversations that attest to this:

Hey, can you imagine, now when we think back at the time when we were 18, we actually have to say 5 years ago!!! Can't imagine that it has been so long ago when we're still in our teens...

Well, it's better than saying 'Half a decade ago, we were 18'

!!!

Eh, can you imagine Jay Chou and Wang Lee Hom has been around for 10 years?

Not surprising what - they're been around since we were in high school.

But 10 years!!! Got so long meh?

Well, if we count back, 10 years ago we were 13 and in high school, so that's about right lo... Not like a few years back already when we can always count back and say we were in primary school or kindergarten...

Seriously, we are that old!!! So sad!!! T^T

**************

Okay, why am I talking about depressing things again? Think about more cheery stuff.

Hmmm...

Oh, I'm on bank holiday today - so no work!!! Woohoo!!!

If only UK has more public holiday... Siao gila, only three bank holidays, New Year, Christmas, Easter Monday and Good Friday are official public holidays -.-"

That's all for now, kinda lost track of my thoughts dee and ended up rambling like usual.

Anyways a big HELLO to everyone and I miss all of you!!! Sorry for the yet-to-materialise emails I've promised. Have been too tired and stressed this past months to actually get the mood to sit down and write to you all. But I will, promise!!! Until then, take care!!!

Muaxxx <3

Update...

2009-04-18T01:00:00.002+01:00

... sorry for the lack of update - will be posting soon. I hope. So stay tune!!! MuaxMuax to all my loves!!! xoxo <3

Random thoughts...

2009-03-20T15:23:00.007Z

... that struck me at random moments ><

The sun: It's approaching summer and I realised that the day is getting longer bit by bit. It's refreshing to get off work and see the sky still bright. And it's great to go out at 7am and see the sun already out. The weather is getting more and more pleasant. *pleased*

Peacock: Saw one on the street browsing the shops while I was waiting for the bus to work one morning *swt*

Brother: Stoopid one form US called today to brag about him passing his first of a series of professional papers. Am damn happy for him and glad that he still knows to staudy despite the many distractions around him. Speaking of which, have not seen him for almost two years! And the bugger going back to Msia again this summer *jealous*

While on the bus: Saw the cutest baby in a pram with his father, who keeps making sounds like, "Da, Da, Da!" or "Uh, uh, uh!" in his lil' high pitched voice *super cute!*

On the way to bus station after work: Passed by this girl who had her hair highlighted with dark blue and thought, "Damn, my freaking hair was once purple (ish red)!" Now my hair's been un-dyed for two years and I actually kinda like the natural colour - BUT I do have the occasional urge to have it dyed *conflicting emotions*

On bus 342 home: Saw a guy with his schnauzer sititng next to me and I thought of Gypsy!!! *super misses her*

Work: Was apprehensive about it. Then was enjoying it coz I learned a lot and it pushes me past my own boundaries. Now I'm a bit stressed and need to pace myself better to not let it overwhelm me. But still, am earning £££ so havta bite the bullet and bear with it *be positive, be positive*

Msia: I miss the people and the food, esp when I thought about all the things that I did not manage to do when I was back *sullen*

Family: Mum and Dad insisted on buying me a laptop as I was damn kiamsap to get one. BUT with me now working and all, I just couldn't take it - damn paiseh la. But feel damn loved nonetheless. *happiness*

Bath: A great place to work at. Nice scenery and all. Sat at the benches beside Bath Abbey sometimes and eat sausage roll form Greggs while listening to street performers sing. *bliss*

Cooking: Had damn a lot of experiments around Jan and Feb. Whipped up quite a lot of nice dishes. But now, eat instant noddles twice a week with simple easy-to-cook meals for the rest of the days. *tiredness*

Phone: I need a new mobile. Am still using w800i which was bought over 4 years ago. Right after I finish A Level. Now it's 3 years of Law school and 1 year after graduation on. And to think I used to change to a new model every 12 months. Now couldn't even get excited about any new models - not even iPhone (not really). *lethargic*

Economy: Does not look like it's getting any better any time soon, exp in UK. And that makes me lose ard RM3000 every month in terms of exchange rate. *angry*

Books: Am rekindling my passion for reading. Had missed out on a lot of good-ol' me time when I would curl up in some corner and immerse myself in the story. Started and finished 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' (finally!), and now on 'State of the Union'. *contented*

Camera: I need a new one too. My pink casio one is half-dead on life support. And I want a DSLR! *stamps feet*

That's as much as I can remember now but it's a nice change to be aware of little things happening around me - makes me feel alive =)

HCNSL

2009-03-14T11:38:00.003Z

Finally got to sit down and have comp to myself for a few hours!!! But do not feel like blogging...

So decided to edit one of the most complete pic of the gang and post it. Anyways the effects are not so nice coz all the nice photo-editing applications are in my own laptop which is NOT with me... *sad* T^T

But here it is...

... and that's it.

Hahaha XD Don't have much to say - wait till inspiration comes la... Oh and still have the London session with Gen and Jack that I haven't talked about...

Nest time la... Sleepy again - at 12 pm in the afternoon after 12-hours' sleep @@

她的故事

2009-03-07T02:15:00.006Z

She was sitting in the midst of people, surrounded by noise and laughter. Everyone had gathered at her house today to celebrate her seventeenth birthday. She was the happiest girl that day, she believed. She had the whole world lying in front of her, waiting for her to explore and she could not wait to start. While she was surrounded by people she loved, she could not wait to start her journey.

She opened her eyes after blowing off her candles and realised that she recognised not one person standing in the room. She darted up from where she was sitting and started to search frantically. For the familiar faces that always greet her with a smile on their lips and kindness in their eyes. For the ones that have been with her all this while.

She could not find them.

She looked down at her birthday cake and saw that there were twenty-three candles on it. She thought back to the not-so-distant past and wondered how time had passed her by so fast without her noticing it.

She did not know what to do. Everyone around her seemed puzzled by her reaction and she decided to try and join in the fun. To laugh along with the others, to be part of this new group. And yet, she could not stop the pang of loneliness that insisted to haunt her. Tried as she might, she realised she did not belong where she was.

She wanted to scream. She screamed. A desperate call for help. To anyone who would extend a hand. To anyone who understood what she was going through.

The people sitting next to her jumped up in shock and looked at her in bewilderment. She herself did not know what was happening. She just wanted to get away.

She started running and running and running. Heavy clouds turned the sky darker and darker every minute, bringing with it a warning of a storm ahead. She did not care. She just knew she needed to get away. The wind beating against her face felt so refreshing and, for a moment, she felt revived.

She ran until she was exhausted and looked around her. She was in the middle of a forest, with trees as high up as those she had seen in books. They seemed to be looking down and laughing at her, not with her. Never with her.

She wondered how she wound up there. She looked down at her hands and saw that they had wrinkled with age. She touched her face and discovered lines that did not exist before. She put her hand on her head and felt her hair. It had lost the vigor of youth. No longer was it soft and silky and smooth. It felt coarse and dry and lifeless.

She panicked. Had time flew by her again? Did she miss out on more things? How old was she now? Where are all the people she knew? What happened to all the things she was familiar with?

She looked back the way she came, trying to find an escape from this dark forest. But the trees around her seemed to have grown taller and taller, shrouding her in a cloak of darkness. She could no longer see anything, not even the hands in front of her.

In the distant, she could hear the foreboding of a storm. Within minutes, heavy rain pelted down from the sky. She stood there and drenched herself in rain. All her distress and anxiety was washed away by the rain. She closed her eyes and reveled in the moment.

She felt calmer and more at peace with herself than she could ever remember. She opened her eyes and saw a shimmer of light, beckoning her to it. She grope in the dark, slowly walking towards the light. Her body was frail and weak, and she could only managed a few steps before she had to stop and rest.

She did not know how long it took her but slowly and gradually, the light grew stronger and her surroundings grew brighter. She thought back on her life while she was walking. Reminiscing about the good and the bad. She rejoiced for the happy times and she tried her best to come to terms with the sad times. She realised that she should never have ran away, that she should have stayed and embrace the change that had happened. After all, that is what life is all about.

She walked and she walked until finally she reached a clearing. There was a beautiful lake with a nice cottage nearby. She walked to the lake and looked at her reflection. She was a bit taken aback, but she was not surprised to see an eighty-year old lady staring back at her. She had to say that despite everything that had happened, she had aged rather gracefully.

She went up to the cottage, intending to ask for a cup of water and maybe a biscuit or two. She knocked and there was no answer. She called out and no one replied. Gingerly, she tried to push at the door and it slowly drew open. She peeked inside and it was very dark. She reached for the switch and turned on the lights.

"Surprise!!! Happy birthday!!!"

She blinked and looked at the people gathered in the room. She glanced at the mirror by her side and, this time, she was shocked at her reflection. She was back where she was - seventeen, young and fresh.

How BunBun Was Tortured

2009-03-02T21:34:00.007Z

rare chance to hog comp!!!

So finally got the chance to blog and there are a lot of things that I want to talk about - meeting the uni gang back in Malaysia, hanging out with the Kampar gang, going to Genting, spending time with the family, the comforts of home, seeing my baby Gypsy, food...

All the things I did and all the things that I did not have the time/chance to do...

All the lovely people I meet up with and all the darlings I did not manage to catch before I had to be back...

The food that I got to eat and (sadly) the food that I did NOT eat - curse the stoopid flu/fever during the last week I was in Malaysia...

And then, there's the two months or so since I'm back in the UK - shopping before the sale ends, going to London to meet two wonderful persons, the food/experiments that I cooked/did in this time, work, the weather (snow!!!), my freaking first pay, the hilarious/frustating/confusing/unexplainable/bizarre story of the total communication breakdown btwn me and miaomiao, etc...

But am extremely tired and sleepy so just want to rest a bit then sleep... It's freaking Monday after all and with the start of the month, got like a whole new load of things to do at work... So am a bit ugh right now - my brain did not function all too well this morning and it's not doing that much better now...

So, while on one hand I wanna blog coz this opportunity does not come up often (and even more rarely me actually wanting to write shitloads of crap), on the other I'm just too tired and lazy...

Therefore I've decided to disclose never-before-seen-in-public pictures of Kat in a shower cap!!!

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Erm, just kidding la =p

Later she come and kill me with her Disney Princess fork, spoon and knife then I die, I tell you XD

Okay, so for want of better things to talk about (and even lesser attn span and energy to do a more proper entry), I present to you...

The nightmarish events that happened to a cute BunBun when she ran into an unidentified monster mushroom, whom by the way, prefers alcohol (any type! wine, beer, spirits, absinthe) and coffee (the starbucks variety) to water, likes running and oogling at Jessica Alba!!!

[getting stuffed into a tight space and forgotten for a few days *bun: wuwuwu T^T everyone forgot bt me dee*] [finally returned to the owner but got contorted into various shapes *bun: aiyak! help!! erghhh!!!*] [then suddenly little bun was given a beanie to wear... *bun: phew, maybe he got tired dee*] [...which could be transformed into a nice glove-jumper! *bun: wah, mushroom gorgor soooo nice!!! sure safe dee!!!*] [but just when this thought occurred to little bun, the poor thing was hanged upside down with (possibly smelly) socks and undies! evil, evil cendawan!!! *mushroom: ngek,ngek, ngek*]

Damn...took me almost an hour and half to write this coz stoopid photobucket was loading soooo slow!!! Tried using the bulk loader but it just won't load properly so went back to the old loader and did multiple photos loading but then it won't work properly oso... So tried the blogger photo posting too but no luck... In the end had to load one by one which took AGES!!!

And here I thought connection in the UK is better -.-"

Anyways, off to shower and sleep dee... Another long day of work and stress tomorrow T.T

I am still alive...

2009-02-23T22:26:00.006Z

... and kicking.

[i can never be a model -.-'']

Sorry for the lack (non-existence) of updates for the past two months. Been really busy and too tired everyday to make the effort to sit down and type a proper post =p

So anyway, what's new? Erm, started work and it's not too bad. I'm learning as I go along and, with the credit crunch and all, even if I don't get to keep this job for long hopefully I'll be taking some valuable experience away with me. Am put in a team of 9 and they are all quite nice. Granted, being the anti-social that I am, I'm not getting to know anyone else - but really the main problem is also me not wanting to make the effort to socialise so may have to change that. Sometimes I prefer to remain incognito and just get my job done. Less office politics and gossip this way.

But so far so good. At least I'm getting paid and with my recent hobby of aggravated-kiamsap-ness, I should be able to save quite a bit =p It's just the traveling that kills me. Work starts btwn 830 am to 10 am depending on how early you want to get in and how late you want to stay back and I have to wake up at 6-freaking-am every morning to catch the before-7-am bus to town to take the 730am bus to Bath!!! So travel to and fro work takes up a minimum of 3 hours everyday, not to mention the waiting for the buses bit.

So am just exhausted every day after work... Sumore have to cook and makan dinner, rest and shower - by the time everything's done it would be 11pm at the earliest... Then havta sleep to wake up on time the next day... So yeah, that's why been too lazy to update.

Oh, and with all the traveling, I have also taken up a brand new hobby - sleeping on the bus!!! In my defence, what else can you do other than sleep for the daily one hour journey to work and another hour back? There's really only so much trees and landscape you can appreciate. Rather than stare blankly out the window, I might as well get some much needed rest during the arduous journey, right? It's a really exciting hobby, I tell you - *snap* I can fall asleep just like that and *snap*snap*snap*snap*snap* I can wake up XD

Work is good in the sense that it keeps me occupied instead of feeling like a damn inadequate invalid rotting at home each day. But I kinda miss the good old wuliao days when I could just wake up whenever and sleep whenever and do whatever in btwn. Now, the first 5 days of the week are routine. And heck, the last 2 too coz I mostly stay at home to sleep. So yeah, am having a rather boring and social-less life right now.

What else? Hmm, there's actually a lot of photos waiting to be uploaded but I'm darn lazy. Pics from when I went back to Malaysia and spending time with soem beloved people. Pics from my London trip to go find GenGen and JackJack. Pics from all the food we cooked during the two weeks of CNY (ya lah, since can't celebrate lo, mah put a bit more effort to make some nice food lor). Pics from all the jakun-ness over the snow two weeks ago. Random pics of all the new recipes/food experiments I've been doing. But relaly, there's a lot and yet not so much coz the photos are rather repetitive and I'm too lazy to sift them through.

But anyways the main reason for this post is to update anyone who care and anyone who wanna 38 about what I have been up to these two months. Oh, and work is great in that it stopped me from feeling lonely and left out coz all my friends actually have a life. god, i sound so dramatic and petty. But am just on a sprouting nonsense here so bear with me But it does creep upon me from time to time, esp these two weeks - I have no idea why. Maybe it's coz I don't have my stoopid laptop with me which cuts down the amount of time I can be online and stay in touch. Or maybe it's coz I've isolated everyone around me. soooo drama queen Or maybe everyone is just moving on. Or maybe it's just me beign reluctant to socialise.

But happy to say, after all these months, I am starting to see a glitter of light in the dark tunnel I am in. So hopefully, I would be able to pave my way through and find my own life (that will be moooore exciting than all y'all bitches - hahahahaha, jk oni, dun be too serious a ;p). I wish everyone well too, though, for there is nothing happier than to see those around me living their life well. fuck, now i sound so mother-theresa-ish - most be the lack of blogging, im talking so much bullshit that im also a bit ughhh at myself

GONNA.STOP.RIGHT.HERE.

**************

Before I end this supposed-to-be-short-but-turned-out-rather-long post, here's a big shoutout to

>>> Ms Lee Cheng Yee: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, girl!!! So sorry I din wish you earlier but -see aformentioned paragraphs- m(_ _)m Gomen! I wish you all the happiness and blessing in the world! I wish that you can get as much out of life as possible. I wish that you can successfully go to US for your Masters as is your dream. I wish you strength to pull through whatever obstacles and hurdles thrown your way. Have a great year ahead and keep me updated on everything ya? Send me an email once in a while can? (I'll try to reply asap)

>>> Ms Kathlyn Lee Miao Miao: If you see this (which I doubt you will), please send me a frekaing MSN msg/email/sms/miss call even, to let me that you're still alive and well. God, have not heard from you in ages!!! What has happened to you? Is everything alright back home? Anyways, if and when you see this, check when you're free (seeign as now's your kancheong time for CLP), give me an sms and I'll call you k? I passed the msg through different mediums but cannot seem to get to you so hopefully you can see this. Btw, you're not abducted by MiaoMiao aliens by any chance, are you? -.-

>>> Ms Emily Quak: I know I said I'm gonna send an email soon but sorry, dear! Refer -aforementioned paragraphs also- Will try to get to it asap. In the meantime, if you have the time, send me an email and update me on what's going down under too ya? Talk to you soon!

>>> Ms Lum Pui Saan: Haven't talked to you for a long time and I think I also have an email from you which I am yet to reply. Will get to it soon, k? And update your blog more often also la, so I know what's happening with you and all, ya?

>>> Ms Serene Kan: Thanks for leaving a lil msg on the blog the other day - at least I know there's still one person who remembers me ><>>> Mr Alex Tung: Mushroom kor kor, how have you been? I thought you said need me to buy some things for you one... Just email me the link and I'll get them ya?

>>> Ms Genesis Soong: Ganbate for BVC! Just a few months to go! You can do it!!!

>>> Ms Carissa Ee: How are you doing? Still hyped up on Jyannis' boys? Lol, miss your wacko-ness whenever you talk about them... Pop me an email when you're free or I'll see you online (hopefully) some time in the near future k?

>>> All the above and others equally beloved friends not mentioned here (too lazy to type dee): I miss each and every one of you so take good care of yourselves and keep in touch ya?

ps: gonna get myself a new laptop here coz i can't tahan living w/o going online and catching up for any longer, so stay tuned for more random updates and MSN chats soon!!!

pps: notice how many times i use dthe word 'lazy' *swt*

The end of another year...

2008-12-31T23:55:00.000Z

In a blink of an eye, 2008 is nearing an end. Much has happened this year...

This year I managed to have some of the best times in my life @ Block E Sherfield Hall; but I also had an extremely stressful final year with my fair share of tears and breakdowns.

This year I deepened a friendship which, hopefully will last a lifetime but I lost another equally valuable friend through the passage of time and the inevitable progress in life.

This year I found someone dear - a person who has been there for me through thick and thin, guiding and supporting me all the way; but I also lost someone very dear - a person whom I admire, who had seen me grown from a wee baby to who I am today, who had taught me a lot of the principles in life that I know today.

This year I have finally graduated; but I have been thrust into a whole different world that had left me bewildered, confused and lost.

This year I have learned to cook (quite well, if I may say so myself); but I have suffered multiple burns from the oven in the process.

This year I have learned a lot; but I have also had my fair share of down moments.

All in all, I have gained a lot of valuable experiences and important insights about life. It was not a perfect year. In fact, being a Tiger, I have had downright bad luck with numerous injuries to the self and losses (both physical and emotional).

But after all is said and done, I still have a long way in front of me and the most important thing is to move on forward. So I would like to wish a HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone and may good fortune shine our ways through 2009!!!

Back in the UK

2008-12-31T22:33:00.004Z

Yes, I am back...

Had a blissful two weeks back home in Malaysia and spent the last week miserably sick at home. It was great being home but three weeks were definitely NOT enough!!! Been running around everywhere with just barely enough time at home with the family. Add to the fact that I was sick, I missed out on meeting with two very important people. So a big SORRY to Saan and Em!!! m(_ _)m

Anyways, will/may talk about my time back home but just wanna let everyone know that I'm still alive. Oh, and a belated MERRY XMAS to everyone! (I had a sad one watching TV at home, being sick and all, but I hope everyone had a better time than me! ><)

Yes, I am home safe and sound ><

2008-12-08T17:48:00.003Z

Will be in KL until this Friday. Msg me on facebook/offline on MSN or email me if you wanna meet up and we'll set up a date ya?

Malaysia so far is not bad... Had a super surreal feeling when I reched KLIA last night up till this morning when I went ot MidValley with MiaoMiao. It's been soooo long since I've seen so many Malaysians (mostly la, duh) in one place...

Mistakes so far:
a) Asking for 40P (pence) instead of 40 CENTS -.-
b) commenting on sum1 I dunno for her unique style and got shushed by Kat (who was for once SO smart) as everyone understands BM!!! *the worse i tell u*

Hahahahahahahha!!!!! XD Anyways am being damn random - super tired dee so people set up those dates!!! I'm coming your way!!!! <3 <3 <3

En route home...

2008-12-06T14:13:00.004Z

Just a quick update: Finished, packing, hoping that the luggage won't be overweight, not bringing that much home also - just clothes that I don't wear here, gonna shower after this, rest for a while, take the 4.05pm bus to Bristol Parkway, get on the train to London Paddington, take Heathrow Express to Terminal 3, hopefully will reach by 7ish pm, lull around the airport till check in, all things going smoothly should check in at 8ish, shop around the duty-free area, get on MH1 at 10pm and reach home at 6ish pm tomorrow...

Wah, quite long also a the 'quick' update... Anyway the only thing I'm worrying about is just whether the flight's confirmed confirmed confirmed. No calls from expedia.co.uk or MAS so far so wish me luck and pray that everything will go smoothly!!!

First time traveling alone, a bit apprehensive also but like my Mum always says, "As long as there's money in your pocket, there will be no problem!"

First trip back after more than a year!!! *excited* So safe journey to myself and looking forward to the people and food and fun back in Malaysia!!!

Much lovessss <3 <3 <3 <3

ps: sorry if i din get anyone anything coz no money and plenty of space in luggage but not enough weight allowance ><

So here's the thing...

2008-12-02T21:39:00.003Z

[RM0.10 to whoever who can guess where this is!!! ;p]

I've booked my flight and will be on the plane back to Malaysia this Saturday!!! *excited* Will be reaching on Sunday and gonna stay till the 28th... So any one out there who misses me, drop a message in the blog or facebook/email me to set up dates ya?

My previous 012 number cannot use dee coz my stoopid bro din top up my phone for me during the year I've been in the UK -.- So will get a new num when I'm bec and msg u guys the num k?

Erm, what else? Oh, yeah!!! After a very busy two weeks of interview for permanent jobs and xmas jobs, I've been offered the role as a litigator at Temple Street Solicitors in Bath!!! Work will be starting on 12th Jan 2009 so that's why I'm heading home now instead of CNY... But nevermind la, now it's better anyways since everyone is having their holidays, right?

There's a lot of stories about some of the jobs that I'd interviewed for but lazy to write them out now... Will do so when I get the mood to do that la... ~~But just have this to say to a certain 'high street' fashion retail outlet: "In your face, hah!!!"~~ Hahaha XD

Oh and my stoopid laptop dunno why suddenly blanked da screen the other day when I was using it and now it refuses to boot at all!!! So can't freaking turn the stoopid laptop on so I'm not able to be online much these few days (or possibly weeks since I'll be back in Malaysia yamcha-ing and hanging out instead of going on9 every single hour). Will havta fix the stoopid thing before I head back to the UK - why the heck is it that my relationships with my laptop are always so da bad? Spoilt only after a year plus of usage!!! Must be Kat's face problem that rubbed off on me *sigh*

And right, so chamz, I go back to Malaysia but my parents and bro will be in Hong Kong!!! T^T At first was thinking how to get my ass bec to Kelana Jaya BUT luckily, I've got a guardian fluffy pink cat who offered to fetch me home AND planned all sorts of things for us to do tgt dee!!! *so touched*

Yes, as you can see, I'm a bit hyper now - prolly coz the reality of me going home is only finally hitting me and also coz Kat's enthusiasm about my return is affecting me... Seriously, she's more excited than I am!!! And Em too!!! And Cheng2!!! And Serene!!! And of coz, the ever-oh-so-hot Kok!!! It's great to know that so many ppl anticipates my return - feel so loved!!!

Truth is, the booking the flight home bit was a bit impromptu. Was just calling to enquire about the flight and price and so on when tak tau macam mana, ended up booking the flight also -.- Was actually contemplating whether I should go bec since I got an xmas job on the side too and was a wee bit too lazy to book the thing and figure out transportation etc (I know, I know - Kat confirmed says, "So you la, Sam!") but, but, but I can't help it wad - I'm lazy like dat ><

So anyways, finally going home and the most important thing besides seeing family and friends is MAKAN-ing!!! OMG, all the food that I can't get here - laksa, popiah, cucuk udang, roti tisu, steamed fish, etc etc etc!!! Have a feeling that I'm gonna be damn fat dee... Speaking of which, I've been eating like crazy over here as it is! It's like my mouth just can't stop muching on stuff and I'm always hungry!!! Must be the stoopid cold - it's freezing here!!! *brrrr*

Oh and the other equally important thing - SHOPPING!!! Megasale in Malaysia beats sale in the UK where the cheapest here is like GBP5/6/7 whereas in Malaysia the cheapest can go to RM5/6/7!!! Big diff lor... Sumore the shoes in Malaysia are crazy cheap!!! Gonna buy so much stuff!!! I've been super deprived of quality shopping due to the price of the things in the UK and (crucially) my almost empty bank account *wuwuwuwuwu T.T - anyone care to donate to the 'Save Sam Fund'?*puppy eyes*

But everything aside, am feeling a bit guilty about leaving Bristol since his holiday is starting ngam-ngam on the 6th Dec (the day I'm flying bec) and the new term starts on the 5th Jan (a week after I return)... But after much thought, I can't really have my world revolve around him too much, right? *shhhh, dun tell him* AND think my parents really wanted me home, even for a short while so mah go bec lo... Damn, shud hav gone bec wayyy earlier then cudda gone Japan and HK with them... ~~But then again, I wudn't have gotten the job now, wud I?~~

Oh well, what's done is done and it has managed to turn out for the best (for the time being). ~~Actually, dun think I shud mention anything about the job lest I jinx myself... You know la, all that stuff about 'counting your chicken before the eggs hatch' or summin...~~ Okay, gonna go bec up and strike off the relevant parts *striking off, striking off,...* Okay, done!

Erm, I am a bit too hyper and wuliao, right? But anyways, tat's all the update for now! So unless expedia.co.uk tipu my money or MAS cancels the flight or sumthing really unexpected/crazy/incomprehensible happens on the 6th (which will leave me stranded at London Heathrow), I'll be back !!!

Get ready the red carpet for Her Royal Highness!!!!! =p

Hello, people...

2008-11-25T03:47:00.003Z

There are a lot of things going on right now. I do not even have the time to stop and assimilate everything as yet. There are stuff that I would rather not talk about until it's confirmed and in the bag - mostly for fear that I will jinx myself, which happens often =p

So sorry for the lack of updates to those who always find the time to read my humble little blog. I will update on my latest progress as soon as things settled down a bit. Will confirm if and when I am really going to be back to Malaysia and my plans for the near future. So be patient and in the meantime, wish me luck and all the best, ok?

I heart all you people!!! <3

Nick Vujicic

2008-11-21T00:37:00.002Z

[was VERY moved by this video: if he can do it, i can do it too!!!]

He was born limbless, missing both arms at shoulder level, and having one small foot with two toes protruding from his left thigh. Life could not have been easy for him. There was a point in time when he even contemplated suicide - at the young age of 9 (or 10). For many people, they would have given up on life altogether.

And yet, Nick managed to pull himself away from the abyss of despair and get on with life. Today, he has learned to accept himself as he is and tries his best to live life to the fullest.

A quick search on the Internet reveals articles and YouTube videos about Nick with countless comments based mostly on two extremes:

a) Those who believe that God made Nick this way for a greater purpose and that it is through the grace and work of God that Nick has found joy and purpose in life despite his limitations and has become an inspiration to many others; and

b) Those who think all the above is just a load of bullshit and that if there were to be a God, He wouldn't have made Nick this way and would have instead gave him a normal body and a wholesome life all in one

Frankly speaking, I don't really care whether or not God is involved in Nick's physical limitations. And I am not concerned at all who or what it is that has kept Nick going on all these years.

But the fact of the matter is he has. He has managed to overcome so many difficulties and obstacles in life. He has continued living on with a strong and positive attitude towards life despite his limitations.

And not everyone can do that when faced with the same situation. I, for one, would have probably given up in a split second. Heck, even my condition/situation in the past few months had gotten me so dejected and depressed. So the fact that he can and that he has - is that not the most amazing and inspiring thing ever?

Sushi ala 753A-style

2008-11-18T19:06:00.005Z

Staying in the UK has its ups and downs.

The highs include

>>> Being able to say 'Cheers' instead of 'Hi', 'Bye' and 'Thank you' - saves a lot of hassle, don't you think?

>>> The wonderful shopping - I heart Amazon and the fact that a top costs GBP10 instead of RM70/60/55 (depending on the exchange rate)

>>> Being able to wear clothes befitting the seasons - its like the clothes are so nice and yet it is always too hot in tropical Malaysia to fully exploit and utilise the winter/autumn collection

>>> Having a legitimate reason to wear boots - am soooo gonna miss wearing them when I'm back in Malaysia; just wear anyways? cannot a bit ulu la, except maybe for clubbing but still too hot -.-

>>> Learning to cook proper meals - seriously, before coming here I was an extremely mediocre, below-the-average cook; now, if I do say so myself, I'm actually quite a decent cook

>>> Jane Norman!!! - damn nice dresses and tops!!!

>>> Being able to travel to so many places!!! - Edinburgh, Prague, Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, Venice, Rome, Milan, Florence, Pisa, Brighton, Nottingham, Manchester, Oxford, Bath and many more to come (hopefully)

>>> London underground - so convenient and easily accessible; tak macam yang kat Malaysia tuh, mahfan sesangat

>>> Four Seasons' duck rice - yummy *slurps*

>>> Cheap and nice phones - will probably buy one back for Mama >< >>> Snow!!! - enough said

>>> and... lazy to think dee

What about the lows? Hmm, if there is one thing that I ABSOLUTELY have to complain about its the price of food here.

It.is.so.FREAKING.expensive!!! Most of the time, it's not worth it at all. Like a decent meal at TGIF or Chilli's in Malaysia costs RM80 for 2/3 pax while over here it costs around GBP10 per person!!! Okay la, it's not so bad now that the exchange rate has gone down but before that, this amounted to like RM70 for a main course and a drink!!!

But that was still bearable. The worst WORST thing is the price of the SUSHI here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *exclamation mark times infinity* A pathetic plate of a 3-piece cucumber/tamago maki costs like GBP3 whereas I can get like (assuming the exchange rate is 6.00) 4.5 freaking plates of 2-pieces salmon nigiri at Sushi King. Hello??? Salmon vs cucumber, which one you want? So sad, man!!!

But luckily, I still get to eat sushi and salmon sashimi at 753A!!! This is the ultimate place to go if you're looking for cheap Japanese food. Granted, there is a very limited variety of choices available - only salmon sashimi, Japanese rice and the occasional sushi.But heck, it's dam kao cheap so I have no complaints!!!

An average meal for two costs roughly around GBP10 - and there is always extra food left for a later meal!!! so two meals for two at GBP10!!! Jadi, it only costs around GBP2.50 for one meal per person!!! Super duper cheap, ok? Cannot find anywhere else!!!

Here's a sample of what's on offer ~

[round 1: salmon sashimi, prawns, cucumber, seaweed, tamago maki, green tea] [close up] [yumyum] [leftovers to take away for round 2]

The food looks so tantalizing, no? Is your mouth salivating right now? So what are you waiting for? Hope on over to 753A to try out their food!!! But before that, remember to make a reservation first as 753A works on a reservations-only basis. This is to ensure that the ingredients are purchased/caught on the day itself so that everything remains fresh for the customers. Besides that, it is also to ensure that any specific requirements by the customers are met accordingly - e.g. no cucumbers in the maki, more vinegar in the rice and so on.

The team at 753A prides themselves in being unorthodox, like serving green tea in Carling glasses (see pic above). They also do their best to ensure 100% customer satisfaction and strive to provide the best customer service this side of Britain. And also, their resident chef is a highly qualified, trained-for-one-week-by-a-Japanese-sifu expert in Japanese food. Besides, 753A is conveniently located near a fish pond and there is actually a specialist team assigned to catch the fish at dawn every morning. This ensures that the salmon served is always the freshest and of the best quality.

Furthermore, the 'lou pan leung' is damn nice, smart and pretty one. Oh, did I tell you? She's a Malaysian also, and she came from this super cool town called Kampar. I heard hor, all the people there right very the 'geng' one. All also very smart and gorgeous people!!! So is this not another good reason to visit 753A?

Don't hesitate anymore , people! Make your reservation now!!! You can either call 0123456789 or drop by 753A @ 753A, Fishponds Road, Fishponds, Bristol to do so. I We They look forward to hearing from you! Cheers!

ps: i am so freaking wuliao tat i dunno wad shit i had crapped up @@

pps: i noe i am being so random

ppps: i really dunno how a decent post about having sushi at home can turn out this way

pppps: but it was damn fun crapping this much shit, hahahaha!!! XD

ppppps: no, i am not hyper nor high, just a bit too tired tat my adrenaline is going on overdrive i think

pppppps: i tink i shud stop pps-ing, this is getting a bit annoying, eh? -.-

ppppppps: sorry, couldn't resist =p

Cheng2's Wish for Me =)

2008-11-17T16:08:00.002Z

Got this off the mail days ago from a dear dear friend ~ thanks girl for the continuous support and care even amidst your own very busy and stressful working life and when we're oceans apart... Am really touched; and I love the song!!! <3

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
but more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more then you take.

But more than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
this is my wish
i hope you know somebody loves you
may all your dreams stay big
(Repeat)
(Chorus)

The Invasion: Pat II

2008-11-13T16:45:00.003Z

Okay, am finally getting down to do the second part of GenGen-and-JackJack's trip to Bristol...

So the following day (Friday), we slept in until past noon =p Was planning to go to Bicester Village but Scon had a meeting the following day which he had to prepare for later that night so decided to hang around in Bristol instead. really thanks to the two kind souls for forgoing bicester to accompany us for a bit longer <3

Besides, stoopid train does not run directly from Bicester to Bristol so to come back would have involved at least 2 1/2 hours of traveling. Options included

a) Bicester North - Banbury - Oxford - Didcot Parkway - Bristol Temple Meads >>> 2:13 hr

b) Bicester North - Banbury - Reading - Bristol Temple Meads >>> 2:43 hr

c) Bicester North - Bicester Town - Oxford - Didcot Parkway - Bristol Temple Meads >>> 2:46 hr

d) Bicester North - Londin Paddington - Bristol Temple Meads >>> craziest option 3:15 hr

So, decided to go to the not-so-newly-opened Cabot Circus to eat and jalan-jalan a bit. btw this was actually my first time there - so ulu, right? ugh It was a very nice place, very modern and new and there are so many shops there!!! But guess what's the first thing we did there?

[take pictures -.-]

Then, coz we were very da hungry, we went in search of food and picked Grandmother Tam (Real name: Tampopo) where they serve East Asian food. The main reason why we went in there was coz we were too lazy to look around dee. So in we go!!!

[of coz camwhored a bit la, featuring home-made lemonade - which i think was nice but the others tot it too sour] [the pelapik showing a map of east asia but i zoomed in to take malaysia oni =p] [fried udon: it was actually quite nice but a little too oily] [gyoza which comes as a set with my udon: three miniscule dumplings with little filling but it was not bad] [char kuey teow: not yucky but does not taste anything like the char kuey teow we know] [beef rendang with egg fried rice: this was pretty good too] [laksa: did not specify what type it is but it more like curry laksa to me, tastes quite good but a bit too santan-ny] [tampopo]

After that, walked around a bit, looked here, looked there and before we know it, the sky turned dark. okay la, since the days are getting shorter now, we kinda just walked for like 2 hours but wtv... oh, and i bought a dress from topshop *happiness* Cabot Circus looked really nice with the lights on and such so we decided to...

[take pictures...] [what else la, really?]

Oh, and guess who I bumped into at Cabot Circus? Ken Boon!!! Was a bit shocked to see him in Bristol, considering the fact that we haven't met up for some two years since first-year law. But it was a pleasant surprise. Had a little chat with him but we did not manage to meet up for more catching up. And I was so blur that I forgot to give him my number and take a picture with him!!! Yea la, so long didn't see, of coz should have taken a picture, right? Mana tau when can see him again! Too bad though =(

Anyways, continuing on...

[domestic violence!!!] [i was taking pictures of the nice pastries when...] [so...]

For dinner, we decided to have STEAMBOAT!!! Perfect for a cold night *yums* So there we were, assuming that Wai Yee Hong closes around 11pm that we mucked around and took our time, etc. Mana tau lagi, when we reached Wai Yee Hong at approximately 650pm, the freaking place closed dee!!! At 630pm!!! @@

So decided to try our luck and went back to the town centre where there is another Chinese supermarket. *traffic*jam*jam*traffic* Reached that place and it also closed dee!!!

How now? So steamboat plan kaput-ed dee lor!

NO! We refused to give up! So went to Tesco instead and improvised!!! No need the fishballs and other liews la, can eat something else wad.

So we got:

a) Beef (marinated with soya sauce, oyster sauce, cornflour and salt)

b) Meatballs (improvised by Jack with onions and coriander - damn good!!!)

c) Chicken (marinated with soya sauce, salt, chinese wine, corn flour and spring onions)

d) Seafood: Prawns and crabsticks

e) Eggs (for the HK-style sauce that the guys like; added with any other sauce you can find at home)

f) Veggie: Chinese lettuce, romaine lettuce, coriander and pak choi

g) Satay sauce (soooo nice!!!)

h) Thai red sauce (for soup base with salt, santan, onion, a bit of chinese leaf, garlic and ikan bilis stock - prepared especially by Gen)

i) Meehoon (but din eat in the end - too damn kao full dee, even the two 'tai-sik' guys surrendered)

Damn, even recounting the ingredients is making my mouth water now! *soooo yummy*slurps*slurps*

[*singsong*preparing, preparing...*] [the food from various angles] [time to dig in!!!]

After dinner, they havta go back to Reading dee coz Jack had work the nest day. And that is the end of 'The Invasion'!

Conclusion: It was a really nice day with the perfect ending!!! So full and satiated. It was great meeting Gen and Jack again coz we haven't seen each other in so long. Just getting together and talking about/doing sohai stuff and missing Kat and Kok - it was good so thanks once again guys!!! You're the best!!! <3

Next time, we'll go visit you pula, ya? Muaks <3

The Invasion (in a good way, ok?): Part I

2008-11-10T03:06:00.005Z

So GenGen and JackJack were in Bristol for a visit last Thursday and Friday!!!

And here's what happened ~

There was miscommunication between the boys so we went to town to search for food. We were planning to go to Dynasty but ter-forgot to take down the postcode so Tom-san couldn't find the way for us. As we seldom go out to eat, we were rather lost as to where we should head to. So we decided to park the car somewhere and walk around to see if there's any nice place to have dinner.

[camwhored while on the search for food at 10ish Thursday night] [the guys dun wanna lose out -.-] [sambil jalan-jalan cari makan, chanced upon Wong's and since the deco looked nice we decided to makan there coz can get nice pictures =p] [the food was not bad but a bit salty] [took some pics la before digging in!!!] [this shows the deco better - it was a really nice restaurant]

After dinner, we went to the park near our place to play FIREWORKS!!! (lazy to caption so just enjoy the photos la - btw dunno how the effect turned out like tat ><)

and a bit of Tai-D - which I did not win a single game T^T

[concentrating...]

Then, remembered that the light bulb in the room burnt dee and since the ceiling was quite high up, asked Jack to help us change the bulb...

[trying to find where and how to fit the bulb] [fitted it in but couldn't lock it on] [so scon had to try instead]

Unfortunately, after all that work, we found out that the bulbs we had at home (which were there since we moved in) were actually old ones!!! wtf So wasted the guys' efforts -.-|||

It was around 4am by that time and everyone was damn tired so we retired to bed. And then, the next morning...

... will be left to the next post coz I'm sleepy now ><

Nights, peeps!

Food and Drink I Want if and when I'm Back in Malaysia

2008-11-05T23:39:00.005Z

Roti tisu (from MM2). Roti bomb. Roti sardin. Roti canai (from Kampar market). KFC - spicy flava (!). Sim Po's tai look mee. Claypot loh sue fun. Success' pan mee. Pan mee @ TTDI. Ching jing bak sou gong (steamed fish). Ham dan hai (salted egg with crab). Chee cheong fun (with fillings). Fan zhai (only Kampar ada punya). Claypot yee mee. Laksa. Tomyam meehoon. Char kuey teow (from Kampar market). Char siew (Barbecued pork). Siew Yoke (Roasted pork). Rocky biscuit. Mee goren mamak-style. Yee sang. Dou miu (veggie). Sai yeung choi (watercress???) soup. Chu kuek chou (pork leg with vinegar). Kai choi/choi kuek (wtv la - dunno how to pinyin). Goreng ubi (from Mambang Diawan one). Goreng pisang. Char siew pao (from Hup Hee). Ham yu fa lam pou (Pork and salted fish in pot). Ai yee ping. Ais kacang. Cucuk udang (yummy!!!). Rojak. Zhao yuen (fried fishball???). Fishball (uncle's stall). Noodle dry/soup (uncle's stall). 100 plus. Kat chai suen mui. Teh 'o' ais limau. Teh tarik. Ipoh nga choi kei (chicken, beansprouts kuey teow). Seafood from Tg Tualang. Fried kai kann (dun wan translate >p). Nasi lemak. Yau cha kuey (from Kampar market). Lai fun. Mak jok (some kinda oat dessert). Tau foo fa.

Okay, cannot think dee... What else a? Damn. Sure gain weight if I do go back Msia @@

ps: sorry for the damn bad pinyin - very hard to translate to english la ><

Lalalalala ~~~

2008-11-02T04:06:00.003Z

I'm feeling better. I think. The wonders of numbing oneself with an overdose of manga. Hahaha XD

Am going up and down a roller coaster of emotions so pardon the outburst of emo-ness the previous post. It's hard sometimes to put on a cheerful front when I'm feeling shit inside. So just needed to vent.

Ignore me if you can. I will find my way somehow. So if I made anyone worry, thosand apologies. Gomen!!! m(_ _)m

--------------
Hopped over to Cheng Yee's blog just now and read this:

She has taught me things - lots of them. I always struggle in decision making but she was there to show me ways to pick the best choice. And one of the reasons I enjoyed reading her blogs is her writing skills. Her English proficiency and fluency have always been outstanding amongst friends.

...

She’s stronger within that we think she is. Gather yourself again Sam, you can make it through! I have faith in you! Stand up again, my dear. There’s a bright future awaits you. Grab it! Whether Malaysia or there, you know where suits you best, you know where you can excel and you know where you can be yourself again. Dearie, no matter where it will be, bear in mind that your family cares, your friends care and I care for you! Be strong!

It feels great to know that someone actually hold me in such high regard. Thanks dear for your care, support and encouragement!!! Reading your post made my day!!! Muaks xoxo

And after that little outburst yesterday I think I will definitely be home in Dec08/Jan09. Cannot tahan dee - need to breath some Malaysian air; see my buddies, beloved family and GYPSY; and bully my brother!!! XD

So make sure you can clear up some space in your busy schedule to see me ya? Love you!!!

ps: we so need to take a truckload of pictures when i'm back - heck, no nice pics of the two of us at all esp since we both have blossomed into such beauties!!! hahahahaha!!! =p

- S.O.S -

2008-10-31T22:29:00.004Z

Am emo-ing out of the blue. Well, not really - think this has been building up over the last few months. Am not writing to solicit sympathy - I just need to get this out in the open coz I don't think I can ever admit/say all these out loud. And I just need to get it out of my chest before something bad happens.

I AM LONELY - there I said it. I feel so alone in this new place I've chosen to begin my new chapter in life. Maybe it has been a mistake, moving here. Maybe Saan was right - I'm not happy at all. I just gloss the whole situation over to make myself feel less pitiful. I try to ignore this huge void in my life and tell myself that it's okay, that I don't need them, that it does not affect me that they don't even bother to contact/meet up with me, and that I'm fine to see others having fun.

Maybe you will say that I should have made more of an effort to keep in touch. I did try but after the first few times, I reasoned that maybe they were too busy. After a while, I get pissed over why I should care when they don't seem like they do and I willed myself to stop caring. But as much as I tried, I still want to know how they are doing, whether they're happy, and if they're coping well. And yet, my pride does not allow me to care anymore. Truth be told, if I were to see them now, I will feel VERY weird and awkward. There is now a huge gap between us.

I am being so pathetic, I know that - but I can't seem to help it. Whoever says they don't need friends is either
(a) an extremely strong willed and independent person
(b) a super selfish person who only care about himself/herself
(c) a recluse
(d) trying to kid themselves

Friends bring out the best and the worst in you. They are with you through the good and bad. They are a part of your life. They are what makes your experience in life that much richer. I really miss my dear friends (those who still care). At times like these, I really wish I'd gone home.

Should I take the cowardly route - drop everything here, jump on the next flight out of the 'oh-so-good' UK, escape back to Malaysia and take the CLP?

Fuck UK. Fuck the better money. Fuck the higher exchange rate. Fuck taking the road less traveled. Fuck everything.

Kat said I should enjoy UK while I can coz everyone back home is missing it. But honestly, I never really find this place particularly charming. The only thing that made me happy for the year I've been here was the company I had.

I want to go home to the bosom of my family. Where I know that I belong somewhere. Where there is definitely someone there for me no matter what shit happens. Where I know I have friends.

I want to go back to Malaysia where don't have to count every single penny that comes out of my pocket. Back to a place where I can spend like a queen and not hesitate over a 8pounds sweater (which I did not buy in the end). Back to a place where I have my freedom and my car. Back to a place that does not get dark at 430pm and the shops do not close at 530pm. Back to a place where I can go yamcha until 5am in the morning. Back to a place where I don't have to cook every single day - where food is so easily available and delicious.

Back to a place where I actually have a LIFE. A place where I am someone. A place where the only familiar faces I see everyday will not be my reflection on the mirror and him.

I know I should be grateful that he's here. But there are times when I feel I cannot tell him what's bothering me coz he has enough on his shoulders. And there are things that I just cannot tell or demand of him because to do so will be very selfish of me. I want to go on a holiday. I want to go to town to shop at Cabot Circus. I want to go for a dinner out. I want to be less thoughtful. I want to be less considerate. I want to be a more selfish person. I want myself to be happy before everyone else. And there are some things that he will never understand like why I'm feeling the way I do.

I whine too much sometimes, I think. People will probably say that I should take steps to change my life if I don't like it the way it is. That I should not complain so much. that I should be grateful. That I'm just trying to get attention.

However, when one sinks further past that point in life that they thought was already the lowest, it just sucks. I am not one who cry easily - have never been. Even in those sappy movies where girls generally bawl their eyes out, I seldom cry.

Yet, in this one year plus in the UK, I've cried more times than I have in the past 15 years. Over exams. Over love. Over the death of someone dear. Over my life and my future - again and again.

This is getting exhausting. I know that I said I'll adopt a more positive outlook to life. But I just can't help feeling the way I do. I am trying, in my own way, to fix my life - even a little. I even fantasized about the day when all these bleak days will be over and I could look back and laugh at the way I've been for the past months. I try to tell myself that things will work out eventually like how they always did in the past.

But will my life really improve from this point on?

I miss having a L.I.F.E. ...

2008-10-29T12:25:00.003Z

... and I miss having friends to gossip with, to chat with, to hang out with, to go shopping with, to have dinner out with, to cook with, and to just be with.

Most of all, I miss these wonderful people who made third year in the UK a fun-filled, laughter-boosted adventure <3

--------------

On a brighter side, I'd finally gotten my passport back and I have official leave to remain in the UK for the next 24 months to work!!!

P-hew!!! Finally!!! The agony and uncertainty for the past month - when my passport will come back, whether it's gonna take 3 months, whether I should continue looking for a job when my status is unclear, bla, bla, bla - have all been *whoosh* wiped away.

First, I would like to extend a big Thank You to that person who stayed by my side all this time even when I was down in the dumps for the past month.

Secondly, major gratitude to Kat for the support, Chals for calling me almost everyday to ease my boredom, Cheng Yee for putting a comment on one of my posts and Jeng and Yon who chatted with me the other day.

Thirdly, thank you to everyone who has in their own way made my day(s) over the past month.

But most importantly, thank you Home Office for being so efficient!!! I heart you people working at the Tier 1(General) office!!!

--------------

A special shoutout to Michie dear!!! Thanks for taking the effort to chat on MSN although we never seem to be online at the same time -.- Seeing your 'Sam, are u onlineeeee' msg cheered me up for the day.

I hope work's not pulling down your spirits too much and that your personal life is doing fine. But all in all, I'm sure that you can overcome whatever obstacles you face in your own way. So just continue being Mich, ya?

I love you and I miss you!!! <3

'Julia'

2008-10-26T03:15:00.005Z

The protagonists *points above*

The Block E gang (including Jack) was at a basketball court. The guys were playing on the court while the girls chatted on the side. Suddenly Jack wanted to show off his skills but the basket was a bit senget.

Gen being her wacky self, ran over to the basket, jumped up and pulled the basket back to the normal position (wonder where she got her strength XD). As she was descending back to the ground, she lost her footing and slipped.

Jack ran across to her and (for some reason) called out to Gen, "Julia, are you alright?" Gen had scrapped her knee and Jack, looking at us, said, "Give me some water!"

Now any reasonable person in this kind of situation would have thought that the water was to wash the wound. So I handed him a bottle of mineral water.

BUT...

Jack turned around and looked at me puzzled, "Jung ng zham pui sui bei Julia???" i.e. "Why you still haven't pour Julia a glass of water???"

I was like -.- and before I could react, I woke up.

Hahahahaha!!! Damn funny, right? No? Anyway I found it funny and damn random, especially since the last sentence by Jack was in Cantonese and the fact that he called Gen 'Julia'. Anyways, Gen, if you see this, tell Jack and see what he thinks =p

Musings and Shoutout (!!!)

2008-10-22T04:04:00.004+01:00

There's still this whole issue of whether I should go back to Malaysia in Dec 08/Jan 09. I know, I'd told everyone who asked that I'll definitely be back for CNY but now I'm not so sure.

On one hand, a lot of job openings will be coming up end of the year so if I go back during this period of time, I might very well come back to the UK in Feb w/o much job openings/choices left. The practical and rational side of me is telling me to not go back for the time being, get a job and ensure that my life is fully stable first. After all, I've already wasted so much time these few months and I cannot afford to be slack anymore.

But on the other hand, I really want to be back - even for a while. I'm not sure what is the rationale behind this as I am kinda fine with life here and I get to eat decent Malaysian food (cooked by yours truly, thank you very much) and I have someone here with me. So postponing my trip back for a while should be fine, right?

But the thing is, recently I've had a lot of dreams about myself back home with my family and friends, eating the nice food and yamcha-ing. So I guess that deep down inside I really miss home and everyone back in Malaysia.

And I soooo wanna celebrate CNY and enjoy the perks that come with it - angpaos, good food, new clothes, 'pai nien', gambling, yamcha till damn late (ok, not that I don't do so on normal days =p), etc.

And I know Mum and Dad would love to have me back home.

And a lot of dear friends will be home around that time too - Vien, Saan, Em, Keh Tat, Chals... It'll be so nice to meet up and catch up!!!

Yea, I know - it's quite apparent that I wanna go back more than staying here and look for a job. And yet even if I put forward only one reasoning for staying here, that one reason seems to outweigh all the reasons why I should be home. But I wanna go home and feel the warmth of my family and dear dear friends!!!

So what should I do? Indulge myself or be practical?

--------------

Received a message from dear Miao yesterday and a (lame but funny) 'bomb' letter from Kok today... Really put a smile to my face... Am quite grateful for the fact that you two dearest still remember us... Miss you guys A LOT!!! Can't wait to go bec (if I actually do, that is)!!! Muaxxx <3

--------------

Miss you guys soooo much!!! Hope all is well with y'all. I know, oyu guys hardly read my blog but I know for a fact that Master Yon does so... Yon a, pass the message around. Tell everyone to take care and ask them to keep everyone update don Facebook la, yea? Btw, how are you? What's your plan now?

--------------

Girl, so happy to see you mention me in your blog!!! And yes, I just realised that this is the last photo we took together and it's been too freaking long!!! Must definitely meet up and yamcha for 5 hours if and when I'm back! Hope everything goes well with your US thingy and your job!!! Muaxxx <3

--------------

Saan, thanks for the email and the encouragement!!! Will think about what you said and update you soon!!! Really grateful to you for being here for me despite being all the way in Aus. Hope all goes well with your studies and I'll see you soon!!! Muaxxx <3

--------------

Em!!! So sorry for the lack of contact and not replying your email till now... A lot has been going on in my life but think I've gotten myself kinda sorted out right now... Will try my best to reply you tomorrow, ok? Promise (cross my heart)!!! Really happy that we're still keeping in touch after all this while esp. since we've only really spent less than a year together before you up and left for Aus. Even though we seldom meet up and talk since then, I want you to know that you're not forgotten. I've always been amazed and grateful for the fact that we just somehow click (I really don't know why) and have managed to saty friends till now. I miss you, crazee woman!!! Really hope that I'll get to see you soon... Muaxxx <3

ps: i look(ed) so ugly in all these photos =S

Weirdest Day(s) Yet

2008-10-22T04:02:00.000+01:00

It's not weird in the sense that something weird happened but more like abnormal, I guess...

* Could not fall asleep on Monday night (aka Tuesday morning) so was just lying in bed wide awake for a few hours before getting some shut eye for a bit -.-

*Slept for 2 and a half hours, woke up at 0840, showered, ate breakfast and went to Barnado's at 1000 (this place where I'm volunteering at - not sure for how long and how often tho; maybe will go less if there's nothing to do at the shop coz there are a lot of people there dee)

* Helped around the shop a bit, managed the till, stood around, helping the customers, got bored, tried to stay awake , looked everywhere around the shop for lack of stuff to do

* Got off at 1300 (only there for half day), went home, go online a bit, watched 'The Four', and got sleepy

* Napped (which turned to slept) from 1500 to 0000

* Woke up on Tuesday night (aka Wednesday morning), cooked dinner, ate, watched movies and now blogging

Ain't it such a weird day? The timing of everything just went haywire - breakfast at 8am, sleep sleep in the afternoon till midnight, dinner at 1am in the morning... So crazee and unhealthy -.-|||

Baru teringat...

2008-10-20T00:16:00.003+01:00

... that I used to have an 'online diary' back when I was 15 or 16. I still remember that I happened to chance upon this article in The Star about how people were starting to post their journals online (yaddi-yaddi yadda) and I'd decided to follow the trend too (me being the impressionable young girl that I was). I reasoned, "Why not? I have the habit of writing a diary and this is easier as it will have an archive that I can always check back on..." (besides, it fekt the closest to having my works published, so yea -.-) And so, I started posting my diary entries online at www.diaryland.com.

But the thing is, online journals were not as big a thing back then as now and certainly the Internet was not used as much as it is now - at least, not back in my little small town where only a handful of people were using the Internet on a regular basis. I was actually one of the few who were up-to-date enough with the Internet =p But anyways the point is that as with my handwritten diaries, I became lazy and updated less and less. Coupled with the fact that the Internet connection was daaaamn slow last time, I was just too lazy to bother after a while. And so, I left the world of 'online diaries' and the account at Dirayland.com was left forgotten.

When I first heard about 'blogging', it never occurred to me that I used to have one. After all, it was at a time when the word 'blog' was not even invented.

Digressing a little, I was telling my bro the other day about this and commented that "Hey, I was actually quite happening to have a 'blog' at a time when the word itself did not exist!" Hahahahaha!!! Lame, I know but it was just something that crossed my mind -.-

Anyways, I was surfing around the other day and came across the word 'diaryland'. The word transported me back in time *whoosh*wheeee*enter sound effect* and I suddenly ter-remembered that I have an account there.

So off I went to the site to log in, thinking happily that I can reminisce about the good old times (and one sad event) with the few entries posted on the site... but alas, age has gotten to poor old Sam and she cannot remember at all the username and password for the account!!! Not even a little clue! T.T

Digressing again, thinking back I remembered that I tried logging in a few years back but I could not remember the password... mana tau sekarang semua pun sudah lupa, ish!!!

As a teenager, I had always come up with monikers and nicknames to be used online as the Internet was considered an extremely dangerous place with people being able to track you down, bla bla bla...

Digressing yet again, it's really amazing how the Internet has evolved over the years. Of course, the dangers are still there but it is safer to go online and people are more open about identifying themselves. If only it was like that back then...

I had used so many different names that I cannot even remember a single one of them, let alone what I used for the stoopid account!!! And it has been bugging me for a while. I just find it soooo annoying not being able to log into the account - ugh!!!

Worse, no other soul would possibly know about the username as this little journal of mine was kept a secret - much like how a real diary works. The only purpose I had it online was to have it 'published' and I was too lazy to write, prefering to type instead.

Worse-r still, Hotmail used to deactivate the account if I didn't log in for 3 months or something and delete everything in the inbox!!! So, that little email confirming my username and password are forever lost unless my stoopid brain (by some miracle) manage to recall them. Heck, having so many different emails back then, I'm not even sure which email I used!!!

And so the purpose of this entry is just to document the fact that Sam is such a forgetful, silly girl - you know lah, just in case I forgot. And also to remind myself of the fact that I tried to log into the Diaryland account but failed - just so I remember.

Oh, yes, I have just wasted another 10 minutes of your life reading this totally random, dunno-for-what post. Many apologies.

Ugh, so geram!!! Apasal tak boleh ingat apa-apa pun? Memang sudah tua - ish!!!

ps: i was so geram that i actually spent a few hours going through the members' directory to see if any of the usernames would seem familiar and trigger my memory - but tak jadi jugak... i vaguely remember that there was a 'z' somewhere in the username but then, i could be wrong...

pps: why did i post this again?

Btw...

2008-10-18T07:11:00.003+01:00

I am SO SO SO SO SO in love and obsessed with this new layout. It's like I can't help coming here (my own freaking blog - o.m.g.) once a day to just admire at it. I know, I am indeed a no-lifer and a narcissist to boot. But it just gives me such a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction!!! So pweeety!!! And the most important thing is that I (wo, ngo, ore-sama, watashi, saya) modified almost the whole original version to the nice version now - so smart and talented, right? Right? Right?

Never mind, I'm happy and that's all that matters. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Yea, I am totally high considering it's 7 am. Gotta sleep. Just wanna pimp the new layout a bit... Hahahahaha!!! XD

ps: the thing that i said i'm gonna do? taken the first step dee but brain not exactly functioning so will stop for now... but promise i'm gonna stick to this little project this time!!! cross my heart xxx - wish me luck too!!! ><

*edit* pps: after i posted this just now, i clicked 'view blog' just to freaking see the layout -.- i.am.pathetic.

My Weakness(es)

2008-10-18T05:35:00.002+01:00

Made a stunning discovery at approximately 4-ish/5-ish in the morning - that I think too much. Heck, never thought that I spend much time thinking, let alone thinking too much. Apparently, this is one of the reasons why I never managed to get started on things that I wanted to do.

Most times, I spent too much time contemplating on what I should do and the best way to do it that I missed out on actually doing whatever it is that I was supposed to do. Usually by the time I kinda have a general idea of how I'm going to go about doing something, the moment would have passed/it was too late and I just don't feel like doing it anymore.

I think this also contributes partly to my habit of procrastinating over stuff. Because I need to think things over before doing them and because I am lazy by nature, I ended up not doing anything at all as I couldn't be bothered to think.

Do I make sense?

Anyways one thing I've realised today is that because of the aforementioned weakness, I'd let life passed me by a lot of times. I'd missed out of things that I had a passion for - things that, were they done in the first place, could have changed the course of life or at least make a happier me. And yet, I'd let the chances to be better evade me all these years. Because I think too much. Okay, so a larger part of it is because I'm lazy but at times when I was not lazy, I was hindered by my thinking-ness -.-|||

So, this has to stop somehow. I cannot let myself be held back like this no more. There are certain things in life that I hope to achieve and I am soooo freaking gonna make sure I achieve it. No, not so much career-wise but for those things that give me a sense of joy and satisfaction whenever i managed to accomplish it.

I was never good in anything but maybe this period of my life (where I seem stucked in between of nowhere) is a time when I can discover my niche. That little something that is going to tide me over and push me forward when I become bogged down in life doing a job that I probably don't enjoy.

I guess as I grow older, I'm losing more and more of my spontaneity and devil-may-care attitude towards life. I forgot what it feels like to be less irresponsible and to just embark in a new adventure. Too many things have to be taken into consideration, especially now that I've graduated - officially out on my own for the first time. Practicality rules over dreams and ideals. But since I'm free now with really nothing better to do, I might as well embark on something new, right?

So for now, I'll leave it at that. Am off to execute that idea that has been swimming around in my mind for the past two weeks.

Note to self: Don't think too much. Sometimes it is just better to plunge straight on into it.

Do you like it?

2008-10-15T19:12:00.006+01:00

--------------

Yup, after much procrastination and contemplation, I've decided to keep this freaking blog and change the old and sienz-dee (but still nice) layout. Don't you think it's soooo nice?! It was originally pink and white with very small fonts and just not as nice =p But after much tweaking and editing, the end result turned out not too shabby, eh? I am such a genius!!! Bwahahahahaha XD

The reason I'm keeping this blog is so that it'll continue to keep dear friends updated about what's happening in my life - be it good or bad. Although I do feel self-conscious at times pouring (half of) my heart out, it feels good to know that at times when I am most troubled, there are true friends out there who care enough to send me an e-mail, ask about me, etc. Thanks for all the concern, people!!! I heart you!!! <3

It's also a good place to store memories of special events, random happenings and mundane facts in Sam's life. I'd discovered that as I grow older, my memory is starting to fail me *wails*sobs*shrieks* and I tend to miss out little details in life. So it's nice to be able to browse through my archive to find precious moments hidden here and there inside this rusty, dusty, musty brain of mine.

--------------

Accordingly, with a new layout, I think it's time to adopt a more positive attitude towards life and the current state I'm in.

*starts chanting*this is just a phase. things will be better. once you've reached the ultimate bottom, the only way forward is up. this is just a phase. this is just a phase...*continue chanting infinite times until my slow brain reacts to it*

I noticed that as time goes by, I've lost sight of my motto in life - to live life. Truth be told, I had barely lived for the past few months since graduation. I had merely existed, hogging much needed oxygen and resources from Mother Earth. It's time to be more constructive, to really step forward and do something!!!

--------------

Lack of preparation and the absence of foresight were my downfall. I did not think properly what I wanted to do after graduation. All I had was just a general, extremely vague and idealistic notion of taking the year off from my (possible) pursuit as a lawyer. There was never anything concrete - no research about the market, no planning, no idea whatsoever. I had just jumped right into it, floated around, and charged forward mindlessly.

Since fate has given me this (rather unfortunate) temporary time off, it's time to do some soul-searching and figure out once and for all what I hope to achieve in the UK before I head home to Malaysia (maybe for good, maybe not - who knows?).

*deep breath* GO, SAM!!! \(^^)/

What do you think?

2008-10-08T23:28:00.001+01:00

Am contemplating:

a) Changing blog layout - been thinking for a long time about this, have the general idea and all but too lazy to go around editing the html and all... am quite rusty dee

b) Starting an all new blog - marking a new beginning, perhaps?

c) Getting another blog while simultaneously updating this blog - for a different venture that I have in mind

d) Getting an anonymous blog - just so I can rant out things that are not for public knowledge while at the same time putting the thoughts out there

e) Deleting this blog altogether

What do whoever who actually takes the time to read this boring, random, stupid blog (even though it is an honour to me that you actually find the time to read it *thanks*) thinks? *shrugs*

:)

2008-10-08T23:02:00.005+01:00

Random moments with Chalsea on the phone: Doraemon, life, Kampar gang, what to cook, singing nursery rhymes, listening to random nice songs on youtube with her on loud speaker, Dragonball, her brother (the jinn gak turtle man), Shin Chan, angmohs in her house, jobs, Dr Slump, gossip about random common acquaintances, me searching online for random stuff and telling her, Miss Chinese International Pageant, Rachel Tan, TVB dramas, etc etc etc...

Been talking to her almost everyday for a few weeks and then stopped and then now we're talking like at least 2 hours everyday with no particular topics and all... But she's one of the very few people keeping me sane... So THANKS, girl!!! <3

***

Miao, roasted duck!!!

*crunch* *crunch*crunch* *crunch*crunch*crunch*

Yummy ~~~

yUm3

2008-10-04T01:44:00.003+01:00

夢

I was at my old primary school and there was a carnival going on. The school building had changed drastically and yet it all felt so familiar. The new library was awesome - it looked like it came straight out of Hogwarts, with a touch of something magical to it. I looked around and saw all my dear friends lingering in one place or another. Yon decided to go to the circus performance held in the school hall and the guys were drinking 100plus.

I was at my aunt's food stall and I ordered dry meehoon with char siew and pig rind. THe smell of the food was so intoxicating. I really missed the food from home, especially good ol' Kampar food.

I was in an odd place - it felt like home and yet it was home. I woke up, feeling the sun shining on me and I'd decided to take a walk. The surroundings had a touch of the English countryside to it but it feels surreal. I walked down a path lined with stones to see a stage being built in the middle of a field. Around it were a few stalls - it looked like the setting for a carnival or a fun fair or a concert; I was not sure. A guy came down from the stage. The instant I saw him, I knew he was the managr of the place. I walked up to him and asked if he needed an extra hand with the event. He answered in the affirmative but before I can offer myself up for the job, my youngest brother popped in and he was very enthusiastic about the job, saying that he could gain some work experience along the way. Seeing at how he's so eager, I handed the job to him and wished him all the best.

I had been living in this room for a while now and I never stepped out of it. It felt a bit like a crossover between RSV and Sherfield Hall. It had a spiraling staircase in the middle of the hall and the neighbours were all very friendly. One night, there was a lot of noises coming from outside the building. Out of curiosity, I went out to look. The moment I stepped out of the building, I saw an arch in front of me and behind the arch, I could make out the crescent of buildings that was once my home. There were a lot of smoke coming out from behind the arch and I climbed onto the roof to get a better view of what's happening. As I gazed down onto the source of the ruckus and cheers, I saw that a mini concert-cum-clubbing night had been organised to welcome the freshers. It was really cool - what with all the effects, lighting and music. And I remembered thinking, "Dang, why did they not do this for us last year?!"

Exhausted

2008-09-26T04:34:00.006+01:00

,
mentally

My MSN chats and they went something like this:

1. With Yon
Yon - Were you very busy today? Me - No, why? Yon - Coz it's on your MSN msg. Me - mentally la...

Seriously, I barely exert physical energy nowadays so it's almost impossible for me to be tired physically. Was just too *UGH!!!!* with everything. But it was nice talking to him tho - got a chance to vent on and on and on. So thank you, Yon, for hearing me out and layan-ing me despite Samm calling you like crazee to go out yamcha. And I really wanna go Tualang to eat seafood and BBQ with y'all!!! Meanies!!! (All of you bec home >p)

2. With Kat
Kat - Don't worry about it. You're smart and you're hardworking. You just need a break so good luck for the interview 2mr!

Quoting Ann from ANTM Cycle 3 (overdose of ANTM, trust me) which goes something like this "I swear to God I love you so much, I want you to be in my wedding and all!!!" I really love you A LOT for all the encouragement and support you gave me, even all the way from home. And for that, I'll be eternally grateful. (ps: i may be a smart aleck but not smart SMART... and not too sure about the hardworking part too =p)

3. With Alvin
Alvin - You should learn something on the side since you're there. Better than doing nothing. Maybe French or Spanish or something Me - Yea, but I wanna try to secure a job first Alvin - Then get some good books to read. Me - Yea, I have some of those. Alvin - Good enough.

Lol, thanks Alvin for making me more focused on the things that I need to do =)

4. With Krys - Basically everyday stuff and how-are-yous but I'm real happy to have talked to you; it's nice catching up so thanks, babe!!! All the best and good luck with BVC - you are definitely smart so you can do it!!!

Nothing makes my day than from hearing from friends... So thanks so much to you guys!!!

ps: thanks too to Cheng2 who has kept up the constant emailing n contact - will reply your email soon!!!

Okay - gotta go to bed. Long day tomorrow. And guess I'll be using the stored up excess physical energy that I have (-.-")

Life-less

2008-09-25T00:52:00.003+01:00

I swear to God, I have no life at all!!! I have been confined in the house in Bristol since I moved in and went out less than 20times to grocery-shop and less than 5 times to town. I am so totally lacking human contact. Were it not for the few beloved ones who are keeping me sane with phone calls, MSN chats and the occasional emails, I would be in an asylum by now. Not healthy, not healthy at all... Most days, I'm absolutely fine with it. Heck, even now, I'm still okay thanks to the aforementioned darlings. But some days, I just get lethargic and this can last for days at end. Longest period so far is around a week. And it's soooo absolutely not helping as I'm freaking supposed to be looking for a fucking damn job, damn it! I'm so wu-liao that I'm even stalking people's blogs almost once everyday!!! First, it's the few nicer 'celebrity' blogs that I like. Then, on to my friends. Then, on to random people who I don't really know - seniors and juniors from high school, friend's friends, etc. Worse, if all else fails to cure me of my boreness, I go look for random blogs!!! This is oh-so-not-healthy!!! And, I finished the entire Cycle 2 of ANTM in one day - just for the heck of it! I seemed to have conveniently forgotten that I have better things to do!!! Gee, I don't know - like sending in my application for the Post-study Work Scheme or applying for MORE jobs? But oh well, what can be more important than numbing myself silly with other people's rantings/gushing about their lives or watching girls get into drama and catfights on a reality show, right? I am so pathetic, it's not even funny. Ugh, I hate my life!

P-hew!!! It feels soooo damn good to rant those out!!! I'm feeling much much lighter now... Have been feeling damn serious guilty about stoning (AGAIN!) despite everyone's encouragement and support so just need to flush out all these thoughts running in my head.

And truth be told, as I was writing the stuff above, I was feeling quite upset at first. It just feels so pathetic and totally lifeless to be wasting my time away everyday just reading people's blogs and watching reality shows.

But as I went on, the voice inside my head (you know how when we write/type/wtv, we have this voice inside our brains dictating every single word? - well, I have one anyways) started to get more animated and sarcastic. By the end of the ranting, I was quite cheered up, actually. And the part where i said "it's not even funny"? I was actually finding the whole situation quite funny.

Contradictory, I know but that's what girls are.

Oh well, at the very least, I entertained myself =p

Frustation

2008-09-23T02:31:00.003+01:00

When I see you frustrated.

When we are both frustrated.

When I try to help but am of not much help.

When I burned a freaking hole in the slipper (-.-|||)

And yet, it all evaporated into thin air when I see you trying to make me smile again =)

家好月圆

2008-09-21T16:28:00.003+01:00

One of the best TVB dramas that I've watched in recent years... A bit too dramatic at times, but it's still good... Have yet to watch the last 2 episodes but gonna watch it tonight!!! Hopefully they wouldn't compromise a good ending with unexpected twists just coz it's not the norm... You know how nowadays they purposely give you a not-so-happy ending just because it's different from the happily-ever-after formula? It gets annoying sometimes...

The very da complicated relationship chart -.-

But the best thing about the show is that it has these really nice theme songs!!! Damn niceeee, I tell you!!! Dun believe me, check it out!!!

[talk to me - DNR] [love with no regrets - raymond lam]

ps: i really hope that raymond lam ends up with linda chung in the show but somehow their qualifications and all don't match - so don't think it's gonna happen... so sad!!! their story is really bittersweet lo T.T

*edit* good ending!!!!! XD *

Wood Machinist

2008-09-21T01:47:00.002+01:00

postal clerk. sales adviser. 3-month temporary administrator. customer sales associate. temporary administrator. administration assistant. public sector administrator. part-time data entry clerk. data entry. administrator. secretary/administrator. secretary. recruitment administrator. secretary/pa. recruitment administrator. insurance legal assistant. vodafone retail adviser. data entry. data entry. customer service advisor. temporary staff. administrator/data entry. temporary administrator. facilities assistant. clerical assistant. sales/customer service/promotions. proof reader. data entry. office assistant. temporary staff. admin assistant. data entry staff. administrator/data entry. sales coordinator. part-time administrator. data administrator. researcher. esprit stockroom associate. esprit sales associate. cruise stockroom assistant. gstar full-time sales consultant. cruise full-time fashion assistant. mecca bingo team assistant. resource coordinator. office coordinator. homeserver administrator. la senza part-time sales. oasis part-time sales. card factory christmas staff. superdrug part-time retail assistant. greggs part-time sales.

53 and counting...

Pessimism

2008-09-17T23:16:00.002+01:00

Time waits for no man (or woman). All around me, I see people moving on with their lives. Starting a new beginning. A new chapter. A fresh new page with which to mark the forthcoming journey. There are bound to be reasons for joy as well as reasons for sorrow. But at the very least, they are forging a way forward. Come what may, they are ready for the challenge.

As for me, I am stuck somewhere between the end and the new beginning. I wonder when my page will finally turn over. There are fears, definitely, of what is in store for me. There are endless doubts as to whether I was right or wrong. There is always an unfathomable sense of dread following me - as if warning of the danger ahead, telling me to turn my back on this decision I'd made and go back to more familiar grounds. And yet, I long to move forward, to at least see what is in store for me.

I hate the feeling of being envious of people who are living life a lot more fully than I do. Those who had achieved something that I had longed to do. Those who inspire others. People I know personally. Mere acquaintances. People in the news. People in the media. Strangers. I hate looking on at them - coveting their lives and maybe just a little bit of their courage.

Whenever I feel down in the dumps, I am forever grateful for the encouragement and support I get from those dear to me (especially you, Kat - I'm sorry I jinxed you ><). Their words lifted me up and lighted my away from the void of darkness, even for just a little while.

I hate beating myself down like this and yet I cannot seem to stop myself. I can be fine and dandy and joyous and happy and jumpy one moment. And the next, dark clouds loom above my head. I do not like this me - not at all.

I hope I can shake this off soon. But then again, God knows how long it will stay away.

Super Trio Supreme

2008-09-16T11:44:00.002+01:00

vid courtesy of waiteng

One of the most entertaining (albeit wuliao) shows EVER! Best for non-stop laughter throughout the 45-minutes show...

Hell, I laughed like crazee - till my tears were coming out... Haven't laughed as much or as hard in a long loooong time... So glad for this temporary reprieve =D

Now, if I can just stream the second episode... *winks*

Happy Birthday, Princess!!!

2008-09-12T22:36:00.004+01:00

[You're finally as old as I am!!! Yayyy \(^^)/ - ps: there's 22 sparkles in d pic!!!]

Thank you for the endless support, encouragement and nagging. Thank you for the unwavering faith in me. Thank you for all the good times we'd had. Thank you for cleaning up my room. Thank you for listening to me complain and whine - even now when we're miles away. Thank you for taking the effort to keep in touch. Most of all, thank you for being who you are and being there for me. I really appreciate you.

It's hard to believe that we'd known each other for almost 5 years. It seems like we've come a long way. But really, I think we become as close as we are now only when we came to the UK. I'm really glad that you were staying just above me - which led to a lot of fun and unexpected events *wink*wink*. I really enjoyed walking into your room, plopping myself on your bed and messing it up while I munched on your snacks *hehe*. I missed the times we spent together - cooking (mind you, whenever we feel like it), hanging out, grocery-shopping, conferencing in Kok's room, watching movies, drinking, stopping you from buying unnecessarily (cute but impractical things), and most of all, bullying you *evil grin*.

How I wish I can celebrate your 22nd birthday with you (like how we did with Kok's birthday)... But it's okay, I'll be seeing you soon (hopefully) =p

So here, I'd just like to say a big

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Wishing you a brilliant celebration and a great year ahead!!! I love you!!!!! xoxo

Divine Intervention, perhaps?

2008-09-11T14:12:00.001+01:00

Read this on the horoscope page in Bristol Metro on Wednesday.

"If something doesn't work, why throw the whole thing away? Why not fix the bits you can fix? In your anger you're in danger of losing sight of the something special hidden away among the mess."

I don't know why but it somehow struck a chord in me. Maybe it's trying to tell me something - although I've never really been one to believe in horoscope and such. Maybe it's reminding us that we should not be so preoccupied with life that we lose sight of what's really important.

The Good Old Times...

2008-09-09T02:48:00.001+01:00

I miss you all <3

No Offense, but...

2008-09-06T18:58:00.002+01:00

... recently I have been getting a lot of 'How's job-hunting?'s and 'Got a job?'s as the first line of conversation and it is starting to wear me out.

Much as I'd like to give a cheerful response every time despite the fact that it's not going so well, it is really not that easy to do sometimes. So, can you people just lay off for a bit.

I'm not setting out to offend anyone or to be rude. I know you all love me, care for me and are anxious to know how I'm doing. Thank you for the thought and the support and the care and the concern. But just for a while, let me be.

I'm handling enough random bouts of depression, self-beating and self-doubt as it is.

Huit mois...

2008-09-05T23:32:00.002+01:00

The previous post is really bleak... so on to happier things!!!

Bun has a new friend!!! Introducing PanPan!!!

[ps: kat, cute not? scon sed Pan looks like kok and that Bun is himself... hahaha XD]

Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for making me smile and cheering me up whenever I am blue. Thank you for everything.

[khalil fong - ai ai ai; nice song!!!]

J'ai de la chance je vous ai trouvé.

[<3 <3 <3]

Brain Malfunction

2008-09-05T22:47:00.002+01:00

That must be it. That must be why my perception towards my life now changes every time I look at it - and in such drastic ways too.

Example 1
One moment, I was feeling envious of those who are going to start their BVC/CLP as they don't have to worry about finding a job, sustaining themselves, etc - they just havta concentrate on doing their best, passing and scoring their courses.

The next moment, seeing the amount of work and reading and preparation and stress that comes with BVC, I was immensely glad that I did not choose to do it - heck, exam-based CLP is more my cup of tea, anyways.

Example 2
One moment, I was dreading working - I wasn't prepare for it yet: the different expectations, the pressure, the responsibilities.

The next moment, I was so looking forward/eager to securing a job and finally getting to work - damn, it was boring with a capital B being idle for so long; even I have a limit to the amount of wuliao-ness I can endure -.-

Example 3
One moment, I was doubting my decision to stay here - what if nothing comes out of it in the end?

The next moment, I was convinced that come what may, staying here and (hopefully) working will definitely gain me more experiences and skills as well as helping me to grow and mature more - I was even proud of myself for having the courage to break away from the traditional route of taking the professional paper and doing something that a lot of people will go 'Huh?!', 'What?!', 'Why?!'; maybe I just have the hobby of doing something unconventional now and then to shake things up a bit =p

The next next moment, I'm having doubts again as to whether I can really pull this through - all of a sudden, I'm very afraid.

All these feelings going through my mind, body and soul are probably normal. After all, when a person moves to the next stage in life, there are so many uncertainties and there may not be a single correct answer. The only thing to do is, perhaps, to march on straightforward and face the difficulties lying ahead head-on.

However, like most things in life, it's easier said than done and I'm not sure if I can really persevere through. I'm hoping I can. I really want this to work out. I want to grow stronger. And yet, the doubts keep lingering over my head - like a cluster of dark clouds, about to bring in a violent storm.

What should I do? Or rather, what can I do? I really want to show to myself and those who love and support me that I can, that the decision I made was not wrong and that it was worth their support and belief.

And yet...

In Bristol...

2008-08-19T17:25:00.002+01:00

Life's not much different here compared to Reading... Maybe it's coz I haven't really bothered to step out of the door much; save for grocery-shopping... Been stoning for almost two weeks dee and it is definitely NOT healthy but what the heck - am definitely dragging my feet and all so we'll just leave the pathetic details of my life for now, ya?

Anyways, at the back of my mind before I clicked 'new post', there was something imminently profound and thought-provoking that I had wanted to talk about - but now I suddenly cannot recall what it was at all... Goes to show how a lack of human contact for almost a month can do the human brain -.- Am decidedly slower and numb-er (in a sense) when it comes to the functioning of my brain... Half the time, I'm just zoning off to God-knows-where with my mind COMPLETELY, TOTALLY b.l.a.n.k. These days, I'm more like a living humanoid, going about the routines of life mechanically w/o a purpose or a destination in mind...

Damn, we did say to exclude the pathetic story of the slow deterioration of my brain aside, did we not?

Okayyyy then, less words, just some random pictures ~

[the hired MPV filled to the brim - TWICE!!!] [the chaotic flat] [the first meal - siew mai w/ mee sua] [luxurious dinner: sushi and sashimi!!! - to celebrate finally being able to stuff the things into cupboards and shelves]

And that's all the pictures for today... As for the pictures of the flat as it is... Too lazy to take la... Maybe next time lo...

SHOUTOUT: To everyone bec home, I miss y'all so muc (esp. the E-blockers, Ping & Ying)!!! <3<3<3

So drop me an email once in a while la; if not my brain will really rot to a mesh of gooey slime @@

So long, Reading... It's been fun while it lasted...

2008-08-04T00:48:00.015+01:00

Yup... this is very well the last ever post from Reading - the small, exceedingly boring and eventless town that had hosted me for the past 10months... Somw how I don't feel sad or reluctant to leave this place... Heck, it's been one hell of a BORING place with a capital B esp. now with everyone back in Malaysia enjoying the super hot weather and the great food... Were it not for the company of my wonderful friends, there would not have been anything worth looking back on...

Regardless of all its flaws, the only thing this place has given me was the host of memories collected over the months with the Malaysian bunch which will always be with me... It's been an enriching and surprisingly almost drama-less year (save for a bit here and there which did not really concern moi, thankfully) and for that I am eternally grateful...

Had the opportunity to strengthen my friendship with a lot and also the chance to know more of the others...

It's been a great year all in all and hopefully this move to Bristol will bring to me an all new experience and perspective in life...

Sayonara, Reading!!! Won't be missing you for a while ><

Insomnia

2008-07-17T02:14:00.002+01:00

It's been a while since I'd have difficulty sleeping at night and this is the second night in a row that I've been unable to fall asleep... Physically, I AM tired and yet my consciousness refuses to give in... I am now wide awake with a million things running in my mind...

The road after graduation is the hardest to go through as far as I know... It was easier after SPM where I just had to decide which subjects to take for A Level since I never really liked the science stream and after that, it was even easier to go with the flow to enrol for the University of Reading's LLB... True, over the years, there were a lot of other routes that I could have taken - doing something science-related, applying for UCAS, choosing a better uni - but all in all, my decisions so far have taken me down a not too bad journey and I'd had the opportunity to meet some of the most wonderful people and I'd have a great few years since...

But now that I've graduated, the routes in front of me are more difficult to decide on... Should I finished off my degree proper with a BVC/CLP/CBC? Or should I stay here to earn some money before going back to Malaysia? At first sight, it was not that difficult a decision...

1) BVC = too expensive and I don't like the assessment format
2) CLP = more my cup of tea and a lot cheaper but I can always do it later albeit not being able to do it with the Reading people plus inflation in Malaysia means that the purchasing power is weaker
3) UK = money is a lot better and IGS only valid after graduation

So I might as well stay here and earn some buckeroos back so that I have some assets to start me off a bit, right? Besides, I am never THAT enthusiastic about becoming a lawyer anyways... At the time the decision was made, it seemed like the right thing to do (or maybe I'd convinved myself it is)...

But I've been plagued by heavy doubts for the past week or so... Staying here and all is fine and dandy but what if I can't get a job? I don't necessarily need a high-paying job or any 'proper' job as long as I can earn enough to tid eme over the first few months... So technically speaking, any job's fine be it a waitressing job or some cashier work at Zara, Topshop, wtv or even being a barista at Starbucks... So it does seem as if there is nothing to worry about...

Taking the road not travelled has always been somehting that I've wanted to do for a long time and yet I am scared and apprehensive about the future one year... Maybe it's the fact that I'll be one of the very very few that's going down this path... Seeing the others doing BVC/CLP makes me wonder if I made the worng choice...

Would it have been better if I'd gone home to do my CLP? Of course, the first good thing about it is that I owuld not have to worry about the things I'm fretting over now - moving to Bristol, accomodation, living expenses, looking for a job and all that comes with being on my own for the first time ever...

There won't be anymore FAMA although I am very sure my parents will give a helping hand if ever I ask but the thing is, I don't want to rely on my parents anymore... After all these years, I think it's time I become independent from the financial luxuries provided by my beloved parents...

Everything sounds so mature and well-thought of but I just can't help being scared... What if I can't make it in the working world? It would be such a walk of shame to go back to Malaysia with nothing to boast of in my one/two year(s) working in the UK (or maybe TRYING to find work)... Hopefully, the very least I get from this decision is a different insight about the world around me and some very valuable experience...

But maybe this is only normal for anyone going through a transitional period... I bet I was apprenhensive about starting college in the city all those years ago... Maybe I'd just forgotten about it...

Whatever it is, this is definitely not a nice feeling to live with... Every time I plopped down on the bed, ready to call it a night, all these thoughts keep running wildly in my mind, making me more wake than ever... Maybe now it'll be a bit better after I gushed it all out *sigh*

I never hoped to finish my studies so fast... I never want to graduate just yet... Damn it, I haven't have enough carefree days as it is!!! But time passes by without us noticing I guess and this route is one we all have to take sooner or later - it just so happens that I chose to walk down it earlier than the others... Hopefully, this will turn out to be the right choice for me... Wish me luck...

It's been a while...

2008-07-09T13:20:00.003+01:00

Realised I haven't been blogginf for more than 2 months... So decided to drop by to say I AM STILL ALIVE!!! Yup, managed to survive the battle and the war... In the end, I was not the worse for wear, thank God =)

But anyways, the past few months had been a whirlwind of activities and I had not have the time nor the mood nor the inclination to actually sit down and blog... Even this post is more for the sake of keeping the blog alive I guess...

Been thinking about a lot of things lately... Life after graduation is not that smooth-sailing... There are a LOT of hard decisions to make, which road to take - the one less travelled or the obvious route... So far, I'd made one super major decision and I hope I did not get it wrong *sigh*

Anyways too lazy and fann to dwell to deeply into all these issues but there are things that I need to get out... Just give me some time to sort eveything out 1st ya?

Oh, yeah!!! And a big shoutout to all my darling darling friends who are bec in Msia!!! I miss u guys!!! (esp the E-blockers, drop me a mail if u guys are free!!!)

ps: kat, if ur reading this, i miss u soooooooooooooo muc!!! will send u an email soon, promise!!! pps: kok, u noe wad m thinking *winkz* care to tell me which one it is today? lol

The Battle Begins...

2008-04-29T22:44:00.002+01:00

So D.E.A.D.

Extremely stressed.

[such a long way to go... so near yet so far...

Any divine being out there, grant me the strength...

And all the best to all y'all out there too ><

Time is running out...

2008-04-24T01:52:00.002+01:00

This is my current desktop background

Something that I did back in A level to push me through the exams

Less than a week and all hell will break loose

Hopefully I can tahan until then - Wish me luck, people.

ps: surprisingly, im not really that stressed right now - just worried that i can't pull off my consecutive last 3 days of exam =s

STRESSED TO DA MAX

2008-04-10T01:51:00.002+01:00

Dear God, I am so reaching my limit... Can you please just kill me and end my misery this very moment? I really don't feel like doing this anymore. Am feeling so stressed and dejected right now. Oh, and completely clueless about Company and EU law.

So why did I take law again?

[is it the right way?]

It's definitely that time of the year (as opposed to that time of the month) where my Grandma of Exam, Stress and Anxiety attacks. And here comes the routine pondering on why I did not do something else - something that I would definitely enjoy more, something less bulky, something easier, something art/literature-related...

Sometimes I really wonder how I went through this same process for the past two years and managed to survive - bar a few scratches here and there...

And this time around, it's my final year. Oh, the enormity of it. Not only do I have to pass and make sure I graduate, I have to try to get at least a good grade. If not, all these years of studying and using my parents money would be for naught. Worse still, both His and Her Majesty are coming for my (hopefully, there WILL be one) graduation - I really want to do them proud.

Why does it have to boil down to this? Why do society measure one's value by their academic achievement and career success? I know that my parents will love me and be proud of me no matter what happens but this is, in a way, my way of repaying them back for all the years of love and nurturing. But is this the only way that society can think of? Is it not possible to be successful in other ways?

Although this is not the first year I've felt these emotions, it is definitely the first time I've felt it this acutely - despite the fact that this is the first ever time I'd started my studying so early.

Maybe I should just pull back a bit on the effort and let nature run its course. Based on past experience, the harder I work for something, the worse was the result.

Have been stoning for the past few hours. I know I should either go to sleep and preserve my energy to study tomorrow or just get over my emo-ness and continue studying. There ain't that much time to lose, after all.

Seriously, the routine for the past two weeks have been super crazy. The only thing on my daily agenda is sleep, eat, study - with no diversion or any other activities in btwn.

Maybe it's true what Carissa said. Maybe I'm just burned out. Maybe it's time to take a short break.

[time is passing me by]

Scrutiny, Scrutinise...

2008-03-22T03:10:00.002Z

These two weeks have been CRAZEE!!! Been coped up in the room for the most of it, not going out at all, sitting in front of the computer for at least 10 hours' straight and 6 hours' sleep in 60 hours... UGH!!!

Finally, the assessed work and writing credit are done... A BRIEF sigh of relief *phew* Managed to catch bec on my sleep last night - Thurs 7pm to Fri 1pm \(^^)/ *rejoice*

Exam's in around 5 weeks...

And yet, we are all looking so much more ahead...

The graduation ceremony - how to register, who's coming, and what not...

Summer holiday plans - Germany, Holland, Spain, Czech Republic, Ibiza, etc, etc, etc...

Too much to plan, too much to contemplate and too much to study - where to find the time?!

Life in Perspective

2008-03-17T20:40:00.002Z

生老病死 - these are the natural stages in life that we must go through, no matter how rich and how powerful we might be. We all know that. It is something that we cannot change. And yet, we tend to lose sight of this little fact of life.

We condition ourselves to think that no matter how inevitable death is, it will not affect us that much - at least not just yet. Death will probably only occur when we're old and reaching a hundred.

Thinking about life this way has sometimes made us forget to enjoy life as it is. We get caught up in the pursuit of wealth and fame and all things material. We forget to live. We procrastinate over a gazillion of things, thinking all the time that there's always tomorrow. Death happens everyday and everywhere but not to us, not just yet we think. There's so many more years ahead. It's okay to put off doing something. It's okay to concentrate solely on climbing the corporate ladder.

However, life can be snatched away without warning, without premonition. It might be an accident. It might be a heart attack. It might be something so totally unexpected that you don't even have time to stop and think, "What th-"

Sometimes it's good to put life in perspective. To stop for just a little while, sit down quietly and think just what it is we really want from our lives. What it is that we want to achieve. What it is that makes our short lives here on Earth worthwhile. What will allow us to depart from this world with no regrets.

Everyone wish for a life of success. To be able to justify our very existence on Earth. To be able to prove that we have achieved something. But what exactly is success? Most will explain it on material terms - after all, what can we do without money?

But I think at the end of the day, what's important is that we are happy. That life was worth living. That we have been able to lead our live the way we wanted to and be proud of it, regardless of how much money we have in our bank accounts. That we remember to live.

P.I.S.S.E.D!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-14T20:44:00.004Z

Item 1: 'M' Mixed Grapes 1.04 Item 2: 'M' Seedless Grapes 1.07 Item 3: 'M' Dwarf Beans 0.98 Item 4: 'M' Iceberg Lettuce 0.60 Item 5: 'M' Broccoli 0.46 Item 6: SeeWoo Choi Sum 1.83 -------------------------------------- Grand Total 5.98

I.am.very.da.pissed.off.right.now.

Perfectly good food. Perfectly edible food. Perfectly heatlhy food.

Enough to provide us with 5 days' worth of veggies and fruits.

And what did they do with them? THROW.

What the FUCK's wrong with these people?

Too much to eat isit?

Okay la, granted, they might have gone past the expiry date. But does that mean we'll DIE if we eat them? SERIOUSLY. Ugh.

Hate their way of valuing food by their expiry date. Such a waste of money.

[angry kiwi: discriminating against expired but perfectly fine food la now, hah?!]

You think we're so free to go grocery-shopping, is it? You think we have so much time in between writing credit, assessed work and exams, is it? So now cannot go buy a huge load of food and stored it la, is it?

Fucking stoopid buggers.

Made me lose money only.

Fuck it!!!

Majorly, royally pissed.

And I'm not even sure why. It's just a few pounds, right? But UGHHH!!! Am just PISSED. It's fucking food la dei!!! We're poor students la dei.

Sumore now no more veggie d... How? No mood and energy to study coz not enough vitamins and supplement to the body, how? Cannot do work like that, how?

[angry blot of ink: cannot study now, how?] [eraser: affect me oso, now no pencil to play with]

Damn it.

[baby: me oso tulan-ed]

ps: may b a bit drama-queen-ish, but am just so *ARGH!!!*hair-pulling* so forgive moi

My Suicidal Romance

2008-03-11T23:37:00.003Z

The chronology of my love/hate (or maybe hate/hate) relationship with Law.

Before I knew you, I though you seemed like a great option. You do not have the stuffiness and rigidity that Mr Profits and Loss or Dr Anatomy or Mr Prescription has. You do not exasperate me like Mr Stock Exchange or Mr Marketing. You were a real catch to me - a real gem.

After I knew you, I realise that hey I like you - I was really glad I chose you. You never demanded too much of me and you were so nice to me. That was the first and a half years.

After that, our relationship progressed. I had gotten to know you so much better and I felt that I had you clinched at the tip of my fingers. I loved you from the bottom of my heart (okay, maybe not so much: a bit less than Mr Manga, Mr Drama Series and Mr Novel). But I loved you!!! That was the two years ago.

Last year, you changed so much!!! You decided to be unreasonable and decidedly hateful. Since when did your mind turned so complex? Why do you like to harp on and on about leases and mortgages and trusts and the consitution of the country? Seriously I cannot understand you. But I tried. Really I did. And I was glad that things worked out in the end. I wouldn't want our relationship to end, not yet.

But then why o why did you have to change again? Do you find the act of making my life miserable funny? And damn it, you are giving me freaking homework to do - the 101 of our relationship!!! Is it not enough to know that I'd enjoyed being with you? That we are happy together? DO you have to put our love to test?

It is at this point that I hate you. And I truly do.

Do not bother calling. Or looking for me. I will not be here anymore.

Because tonight, I am gonna...

damn it, if only i can crap as much for my AW... in less than 10 mins... maybe it is time to consider the option above =p

My Baby!!!

2008-03-10T13:46:00.002Z

Finally, got some pics of my darling girl... Had been nagging my bro in Msia to take some nice pics of her for AGES but no... Too lazy la, too lazy to take la, wad la... In the end, got these from my bro who's in US who got it form him ~ WTH?!

But anyways, feast your eyes on my cute bundle of joy!!! Muahahahahaha!!! XD

[looks like one of d soft toys] [so fat d!!!] [like a princess - in fact, everyone bec home practically worships her now... sigh, tink she got her charm from me leh - wad to do? =p]

Ah, am a lil bit cheered up now!!!

Okay, start work on AW!!! Must finish latest by tomorrow!!!

(and heck, say i'll finish pula by sunday... swt -.-|||||)

3:42 a.m.

2008-03-09T03:41:00.002Z

Approximately 12 hours since I woke up from my 11-hours sleep... And what have I been doing since?

1/2 hour of getting up n showering etc
1 1/2 hours of chatting on the phone with Chals
1/2 hour of reading for AW
2 1/2 hours of napping
1 1/2 hours of cooking n eating
2 1/2 hours of checking blogs n sites for GE2008 results
1 1/2 hours of chatting on the phone with Chals
1 1/2 hours of napping

... and here I am.

A totally unproductive day.

Add to that I wanna go to sleep again!!!

Just too fucking stressed out about everything and anything that I don't feel like studying or doing anything remotely related to Law!!!

Isk, talk about finishing my AW by Sunday - which is going to end in approximately 20hours *HUGE DEEP SIGH*

Am totally feeling the blues and anti-social right now. Gawd, what the heck's wrong with me and my mood swings these two days? Geez, get a grip, woman!!!

Ugh, I hate myself and my life right now.

fly me somewhere far far away, please

Something I Found On9...

2008-03-07T06:47:00.005Z

... that kinda made me a bit less stressful and a bit more light-hearted ><

It's a collaboration among Chinese stars to raise awareness about AIDS. Of course, it's a serious issue and to even suggest that I was cheered up from the video is ridiculous.

But I was laughing by the end of the first part of the video. Don't believe me? Try watching it...

Part 1: The Funny Musical

[i know - soooo lame, right?! had me in stitches... but aside from that, havta admire the fact that the 'big shots' are willing to come out and work together for a social issue like this =)]

Part 2: The Nice Song

[meaningful and full of NGs]

Yup, feels a bit lighter now. I like seeing cooperation among the stars like this - shows that they care in a lil sort of way, me tinks...

Am quite awfully bullshitting - must be the adrenaline... Okies dokies, gonna go sleep and wake up in 3 hours' time for tute ~ rise and shine, peeps!!!

AW/WC/Exam Blues

2008-03-07T03:51:00.004Z

The biggest question that's playing back and forth in mind right now is "What if?" - what if I really REALLY can't make it through this year? I know, I know - a lot of you will be going "Whatever, Sam. ?You say that every year." But seriously, have you seen my damned exam timetable?

30 April - IP
2 May - EU
7 May - Comapany
8 May - Criminology
9 May - Discrimination

Three days of exams back-to-back, enough said.

So much rests on the coming finals. It's either make or break. It's the determinant of all these years of education. It's the justification of the money my parents had spent on me in the furtherance of my higher education.

There are times that I wonder if all these are worth it - the pressures, the stress, the datelines, the anxiety... Sure, at the end of the day I'm getting a degree - something that is said to pave my way to a brighter future. But where exactly will it take me? Will I earn more? Will I enjoy what I do? Will I be happier?

Of course, there's always a brighter side. All through A-Level and Uni, I'd had the opportunity to meet some of the most wonderful people (and some of the bitchiest alive) and I'd had a great time through out. Despite the lull in between where my life is completely uneventful and routinised, there are definitely several enjoyable moments. Living in the UK has definitely showed me why they always say that our Uni years are the best in our lives.

While I may not say that these few years have been the absolute best years but this year has been one of the best - the meals, the rapport, the hanging outs, the occasional drinking, the socials, the teasing-kat sessions... I think in a way, I'd made some lasting friendships here and just this fact is so valuable to me. True friends are, after all, hard to find.

But then again, the pressures of the exams and the assessed work and the writing credit are soooo bogging me down - putting me in a state of constant agitation and depression.

I'm finding myself in a VERY anti-social mood right now so if I appear to be MIA or if I'm so whatever with any of you, do pardon me, will ya?

Deux Mois

2008-03-05T00:00:00.002Z

une autre haie, une autre borne

Walauweh

2008-02-24T16:10:00.002Z

I'm actually blogging!!! WTF?!

Hahaha!!! Maybe it's coz I've been anti-social lately. Like absolutely really and there's nothing to talk about.

A lot of times I'd wanted to post in some random rantings or thought-provoking posts but was just too dang lazy to do it.

So yeah, seeing as how this weekend was one of the best I'd had in a long time, I'd decided to honour it with a post by itself.

RUMSA's Malaysian Night was on Friday and though I play just a minuscule-ly minor role in it, I'd had fun. Heck it, I have absolutely no idea why but I was in such a happy mode and damn social-able so it was nice, esp at the after-party.

Oh, and I just LOVE "Love & Unity" composed by our very own dear Ms Lydia Tong!!! Kudos to her!!! It's superbly nice!!!

Last night was Michelle's early 21st birthday celebration at St Georges. Michie cried, drank, stoned. Backstreet Boys made a performance. Most of the guys got high on alcohol. All in all, it was very fun. Even for yours truly who din drink tat much but drank too fast =p

[the drinks] [the alcoholics] [the drinking...] [the highs] [the red n the going-to-be-goner] [the goner] [the sleeping beauty]

Okayyyy... I've gotten bored d, so will end this post now. Just wanna show the fact that hey, I do have kind of a life here!!! LOL XD

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

2008-02-06T22:53:00.000Z

First year I'd ever spent outside of Malaysia.

Am a bit homesick thinking about the celebrations at home... Why? Coz there's absolutely NOTHING going on over here... It's just like any normal day... So sienz... Sumore stayed at home d whole day and with everyone busy... So chamz...

I miss the people. I miss the food. I miss the noise. I miss the angpaus. I miss the gambling. I miss the CNY dinner get-together. I miss them all T.T

On the bright side, it's the night before CNY and it's the first day of CNY 2mr!!! So to get you all in the mood, enjoy ~~~

Such a random post -.-

ps: it's d year of the rat, not the rooster - do not be deceived by the ending of d video!!! ><

Tuesdays Are Soooo Not My Days

2008-01-24T17:30:00.000Z

Third week into the new term and that is one of my most important revelations.

Why? Well...

Week 1: Woke up early in the morning, walked in the cold all the way to Foxhill only to find that my seminar was canceled, walked back in light drizzle -.-

Week 2: Woke up at 830am when the seminar was at 9am, changed and rushed to Foxhill, rained the night before, jeans and sneakers super drenched by the time I reached Foxhill, attended seminar, lo and behold we actually had seminar sheets that we had to prepare for which I had totally no idea, spent the rest of the 2 hour class a bit blur and definitely super sleepy while my feet are wet -.- -.-

Week 3: Woke up at 907am, 'nuf said -.- -.- -.-

Yeah, so I think 2008 is the year where all my Tuesdays are jinxed. Damn it. AND I still have seven more Tuesdays to go before the term ends!!! Hmm, wonder what else can happen?

*smacks head* Shucks, just realised: it's the THIRD week and the end of January and I haven't started on my studies or notes or writing credit or assessed work AT ALL!!! Damn it!!! Die die die!!! *smack harder*slap*slap*

Ugh.

On the bright side, the week's almost over and the weekend's coming soon!!! Yayyy!!!

But still have Company tutorial at 9am 2mr - which incidentally, I have not prepared!!!

UGH.

And I realised I'm blogging about the most mundane random things nowadays... Guess my life is just too boring, no excitement at all, not even deep pondering on life or what not - just plain old day-to-day life =.=

Life in the UK is nothing to shout about, really.

Nice and Relaxing Sunday

2008-01-14T04:22:00.000Z

That Sam had, considering the start of the week...

Went to watch "PS I Love You", which was not bad - left the cinema with a fuzzy feeling despite the fact that they freaking changed the plot a lot lo *sigh* All in all, it's okay tho...

Oh, and had dinner at Nando's!!! Came bec, watched "The Last Samurai" (which moo sed is dumb) while eating dessert - ice cream, toasted bread, blueberry muffin, sarsi, peanuts =p

AND before all these, had a very nice, sufficient, adequate 13hours of sleep with moi waking up at 5pm w/o seeing the sun at all!!!

AND before Sunday, went on a girls' day out in London: bought some nice clothes from Zara, ate roasted duck n crispy pork rice from Four Seasons, spent quality time with the girls...

Oh, what a nice weekend I'd had!!! *beaming with satisfaction* XD

..............

And then, it's soon bec to the start of a new week. Luckily, this coming week's slightly freer than the last. Hope it's not as busy and tiring and stressful. And hopefully, Sam gets some more work done!!!

Cheerios, peeps!!! =D

SURVIVED!!!

2008-01-12T00:04:00.000Z

Yes, somehow or other, Sammy has managed to survive through the first week of tutorials!!! Yay!!!

Ahem, if I do say so myself, I deserve a freaking clap on the back, man!!! It was not as much work as how it was so damn draining. By the end of the week, I am now just super duper exhausted and tired.

No words can adequately explain how relieved I feel. Ugh, this is like the first ever time in all these three years of law that I freaking prepared prepared for tutes. Am so proud of myself. Hahaha!!! XD

And to cap off the week so far, went to Morrison's at 530pm when it was raining and dark. Sigh, the things we do sometimes... But it was fun nonetheless, esp with the company and the amount of groceries the five of us got =p

So, here's to a slightly more relaxing next week ~ Cheers!

[saw rainbow on d way bec frm tute today!!! soooo nice!!!]

Okay, gonna indulge in some ME time... or sleep *winks*

Ciao, peeps!!! Muaxxx <3

NOT a Good Way to Start off the Term >(

2008-01-08T10:00:00.000Z

Did d stoopidest thing ever. Forgot to check my mail.

Yup, believe me, it's fatal. Oh, we've heard about the perils of not checking our mail regularly, the repercussions, the consequences. That is why Sam, being the good student that she is, checks her mail regularly unlike some animal somewhere *grin*

But lo and behold! Between the holidays and the constant stoning and the laziness, I'd dragged my feet about preparing for my seminar and tutes. So, Sam spent her whole (okay, the later half) of the day doing just so. And in the process, she'd forgotten the golden rule. The sacred thing that us law students MUST do everyday before they sleep: check her freaking fucking email!!!

Woke up at 740am, showered, dress and went out at 820am - all the while thinking "Ah, it's so refreshing to actually wake up early on my own for once in such a long while to go to class at 9am!" Was happily walking to Foxhill albeit in a VERY sleepy mood, reached at 845am (hey, i was early), sat there, waited and waited and waited. 910 and there's not a single soul. Hmmm... Dread filled my body, "Is the seminar canceled?" Think bec to what I did the whole day yesterday and discovered (oh, joy!) that I did not check my mail!!! Switched on d comp, log in to my account and there it was - an email from Rachel Horton at 1pm yesterday... Stoned a bit, looked out the window and it was raining...

ARGH!!! Was freaking tulan-ed!!! How stoopid can you get seriously? Ugh times infinity.

Then blur blur walked to library to borrow any book just for the sake that there was a purpose to me sleeping at 2freaking am last night and waking up at 7freaking40 am this morn and walked an hour to and fro Foxhill...

Walked bec feeling super duper crazy hungry - been hungry since yesterday afternoon... Was contemplating what to cook (hey, i was actually in the mood to cook!!!), reached home, saw the cleaner cleaning the kitchen -.-

That's my day so far and it's only 10freaking am!!! Ugh!!! I wonder what else can go wrong today?

*EXASPERATION MAXIMIZED TO THE MAXEST*

[believe me, i am NO where as smiley as i was in this pic >(]

First Post of the Year!!!

2008-01-05T21:08:00.000Z

Scotland was wonderful!!! If only for the one fact that it SNOWED on the second day we were there ~ HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! XD

It was so much fun, playing with the snow and all... And all the stoopid things in between that we did ~ LOL!!! =p

Anyways just posting to brag about the fact that I saw snow!!!

Wuliaoness 101, man -.-

That's all for now, peeps!!! ><

ps: random tot to spoil d mood - new term in two days' time *ugh*

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!

2008-01-01T05:01:00.000Z

Yayyyy!!! It's finally here!!!

...

Okay I'd actually ~~kinda~~ REALLY dreaded the start of the new year what with the tutorials coming up, Criminology assessed work, writing credit, studying and what not...

But will not dwell about this just yet. Going SCOTLAND 2mr, so hopefully it can keep me mind off things before the spring term starts *lalalalala*

Add to that the fact that I had a fucking bad case of cramps, NOT a good way to start of the year, definitely.

Scratch that - ENTHUSIASM, sam!!! Go go go!!! XD

Now down to the highlight of the year so far... Erm, did my laundry at freaking 1am on new year's and finally finishing it at 3am @@

Yup, such a WUNDAFUL life I have here in Reading =.=|||

Before that, went for potluck at RSV with a minimal of photos taken and a lot of people hanging around until 12am just for the sake of it. Such a HAP'NING thing we do here -.-

It was quite a *whatever* affair but it's the company that counts right?

So once again, HAPPY 2008, peeps!!! ><

[a nice pic frm venice taken wif sam's superb skills to start of the year =p]

ps: will get down to resolutions if (i ever) and when i feel like it... till then, stay tune!!!

Back from Italy!!!

2007-12-28T20:03:00.000Z

Gosh... havnt gotten my arse ard updating for more than a month d leh...

Shucks!!! Feel so damn guilty but anyways here I am!!! Yes, still alive and well.

What has Sammy been up to? Erm, constant highlighting til d last week of d term. Went to Italy and bec. Bummed ard since then.

It being d end of d year, I think it's customarily to review past resolutions and resolve new ones. But I can't really rmbr wad my 2007 resolutions were and...

Actually, you noe what? Am not really in tat cheery of a mood coz:

1) I'd fucking misplaced 250pounds and it's nowhere to be found!!! Damn it!!! D'ya think it'll miraculously appear one day or its it gone forever? *tulan-ed max* >(
2) I can't freaking get myself to do my tutes or non-assessed work!!! Even more damn it!!! *ugh* =.=
3) I hav a huge bunch of laundry waiting for me to do but I am, again, too lazy!!! *curse infinitely* -.-

So yea, am just blogging for the sake of it. Will tok bt the Italy trip if and when I feel up to it. In the meantime, some feelers XD

Happy New Year, peeps!!! (in case i din blog till it's well into 2008 =p)

Mini Triumphs in Life XD

2007-11-29T05:08:00.000Z

HA

HA

HA

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *big ass wide grin*

Random Rantings

2007-11-28T01:50:00.000Z

You make me believe that I can trust you, you said that you would keep it a secret and yet you did not. How can I ever trust you again?

You like to twist the truth to suit your best interest and in the process, you put your friends on the spot. Is this what being a friend means to you?

You go around projecting the image of the holy saint, pretending to be just and fair and all things nice and yet you are definitely not what you seem to be. Have you no conscience, wearing that freaking UGLY mask around?

You enjoy having attention on you and you don't like it if your close friends are friendlier with your other friends. Is friendship a fucking competition to you?

You grumble and lament on how others treat you badly and how no one's on your side. Have you ever thought why it is so in the first place? Have you ever considered the possibility that it's partly your fault?

You take sides blindly without looking at the whole situation. Did you ever considered the possibility that this might be doing more harm than good?

I know I'm not perfect, I have damn a lot of freaking flaws.

And I'm not criticising you for what you are either - you are who you are.

As a friend, I'm trying my best to accomodate that but I just need to ramble all these out before I fucking freaking blow up in front of you one of these days.

WTF...

WTV...

*edit* ps: tink this post has created a lot of speculation n stuff, at least among those who had read it... but dun worry about me, im fine... it's no one in particular and everyone in general - people i've met and things i'd gone through over the years which had made me more conscious i guess... just needed to vent out... thanx for d concern tho (you noe who u are!!!!!) ><

UGH infinity times

2007-11-23T12:38:00.000Z

Finally finished my stoooopid Discrimination non-assessed =.=

Have no fucking idea what I wrote =.=

Some stoooopid (not so) critical review of a random academic journal article entitled 'Pregnancy and Sex Discrimination' =.=

Was just sprouting bullshit half the time =.=

The moment I finished, I just freaking sent it to Rachel Horton w/o even proofreading it. What the fuck la, as if I care - it's only a stoooopid non-assessed!!!

Which caused me to skip my stoooopid English class btw. I noe, I noe - shudda did it earlier instead of waiting on the dya of the dateline itself to do the stoooopid thing. But oh well, procrastination is moi ~~~

The only thing bothering me is the need to write some crap email crapping why I missed class this week... UGH!!!

Why did I take law again?

random deviantart art XD

Awake at 6am

2007-11-21T06:00:00.000Z

I cannot believe it!!! Am still wide awake at 6 freaking in the morning!!!

OMG!!! Am getting soooo abnormal!

No thanks to Kat who complained she can't sleep and induced me to have midnight snack with her at 4am in the morning!!!

Four freaking packets of curry instant noodles!!! Between the 3 of us (the identity of one which cannot be disclosed for security reaosns)!!!

UGH!!! Shall I sleep now? Or just stay awake until I go to Company then came back to sleep?

Hmmm.....

ps: sorry a bit siao d coz of me haywire sleeping arrangements XD

I Want This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-18T18:00:00.000Z

If any of you is kind enough, go here for more details on how you can pay for it and have it delivered to me.

Btw, my address (in case whoever who's kind enough to get me this doesn't know) is:
Room 4, Block E, Sherfield Hall,
Northcourt Avenue,
Reading, Berkshire RG2 7EY.

Hahahahaha!!! Will be waiting for it peeps!!! Lol XD

The Return of Sam's Obssession with her Highlighting!!!!!

2007-11-17T23:01:00.000Z

Yes, I highlighted the sentence "Proposed new statistical measures" with the wrong colour.

Yes, I erased it with liquid paper.

Yes, I wrote the sentence back with a black pen and highlighted it with the correct colour.

Oh and yes, I am anal.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you say? Definitely (well, duh).

101 East

2007-11-17T16:54:00.000Z

Al Jazeera: "Malaysia has just seen its biggest protest for almost a decade, with tens of thousands marching to demand electoral reform.

Their call was met with tear-gas and water cannons.

So is there a need for fundamental change in the south-east Asian country or did the demonstrators get what they deserve?

We talk to leading government figures and one of the nation's top human rights activists."

Part 1 Part 2

10 Nov 2007

2007-11-13T15:15:00.000Z

Thomas Jefferson said: "Every generation needs a new revolution."

William James said: “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

Abraham Lincoln said: “If by the mere force of numbers a majority should deprive a minority of any clearly written constitutional right, it might, in a moral point of view, justify revolution.”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy said: "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable."

G.K. Chesterton said: “You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution.”

--------------

Being away from home had made me reticent. Far from being keeping myself up-to-date with the current events back in Malaysia, I had instead chosen to live my student life here in the UK in ignorant bliss - totally oblivious of the furor that had caused the international arena to tune in to Malaysian news.

Had it not been Kok who told me, I would still be in the dark. It during times like this that I questioned the reason for me studying law. The prestige? Most likely. Job security? Probably. The money? We won't earn that much unless we... but yea I guess so. For the sake of having a degree? Most definitely.

To make a change? well, sometimes I choose to close one eye and ignore the oppression faced by Malaysians of all walks of life. I choose to not see the unfairness and injustice done by the government of the day to us in various aspects. After all, I do feel the effects but what can mere little insignificant me do other than rant and rave? And since I'm living rather okay by my own without much support fromt he powers to be, why bother right?

Other times, I wished for the strength to make a difference in the country of my birth. To be able to fully utilise the law degree that I'm slaving myself over now to change the way things are. Good or bad, Malaysia is my home and it's the only one I've known so far - where else can I go? I really hope for the day when life would be as envisioned by our forefathers - that we would all really live in peaceful harmony and perfect racial integration.

Once upon a time, I used to believe that too. When I was younger. When I was in primary school and was socialised by the education system to think that yes, we do all get along quite well together and that there is no problem whatsoever with our country. Yes, we indeed live in peace and harmony.

But as I grow older, the double standards exercised in our daily lives just made it hard to ignore the fact that we are all actually living in a very strained environment with a barely-there hint of tolerance. Everyday passed with enforced smiles, a hint of sarcasm, and a lot of keeping our mouth shut.

Of course, the government of the day likes to reiterate the fact that we are all living happily together and any grievances is actually a ploy by the opposition to gain votes and disrupt the harmonial balance of the society. Maybe they are trying their best. Maybe we are too greedy and want more from them.

But is this the reality? Malaysia paints the perfect picture of racial integration and tolerance. It's the place where people from different races, different ethnicity and different culture can live together in peace. In a way, it is true. And I do appreciate this fact about my home country. It's probably the only place (well, other than Singapore) where any one from any corners of the world can fit right in, regardless of the colour of their skins, regardless of their religions.

And that is why I hope for the best for my country. I do love Malaysia despite all her flaws and imperfections. I do think that despite that, She deserves to be the best. But this will not happen without more transparency in the governance of the country, less corruption in every level of the government and equal treatment to all the citizens of Malaysia.

And that brings me to the point of this post - the rally by BERSIH on Sunday.

As I watch the video, I can sense a revolution coming. Not long from now on - it might be in a year, it might be in ten years. But not long from now, things are going to change. In fact, things are changing. The people are slowly waking up from the nice dreams they have been having. The people are willing to come out from the nice little cocoon shielding them all this while. The people are more ready now than ever before to stand up and fight for their rights. The people have found their voice and they are speaking up - no more complacency for you, no indeed not! Hopefully, this change will continue and not be nipped at the bud before it can fully blossom.

Like what V said: "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."

Well, Hui Ying, maybe the change that you wished to see is not that far off away =)

---------------
ps: see also this

They Say...

2007-11-11T16:08:00.000Z

that there are some things in life that you cannot possess...

and that's what makes them so beautiful

A Beautiful Sunday

2007-11-04T17:19:00.000Z

Well, as far as I can see from my window that is...

nope, its not taken today but rather 2 weeks ago XD

Yes, it's such a nice day today and lazy bum me spent the most of it sleeping and the rest surfing eBay and Amazon... It's rather sad, isn't it? But oh well, had kinda imposed on myself a 2-days-self-confinement-in-room to just chill and rest so it's all good =D

Anyways the REASON for this post is just to lament the fact that it was just a nice day today but why does it have to get dark at 5-freaking-pm?! It's so dark outside now that I feel it's 8pm!!! Aside form the cold, this is the second thing I hate about UK. Oh, and besides the fact that the shops close too early for my liking too =p

A totally pointless post I know but I just woke up all gung ho to study and all. But one look outside the window makes me unmotivated as the freaking desk lamp and light in my room is too freaking dim and I'll be blind by next year if I havta rely on these tow sources of light!!!

...

...

...

Yes, it's my fault for not studying earlier. So ~~~ will be off to TRY to study now then (if only I could ><)

ps: wuliaoness 500%

Setelah Sekian Lama...

2007-11-03T13:45:00.000Z

... wa mia noticeboard akhirnya telah habid di-decorated!!!!! Wahahahahaha!!!

Dari manyak ugly (talak pic sebab terlalu ugly!!!) ke...

... make over 100%!!!!!

Wa itu cantik tak boleh dihuraikan!!!

Tapi tak cukup lagi... Kenalah lekat manyak gambar-gambar keluarga ngan kawan-kawan sekalian dan akhirnya barulah kita dapat noticeboard yang serba cantik ini!!!!!

Wah, memang teramat cantik sekali!!! Sampaikan saya masih berbahasa Malaysia!!!

Sudah confirm siao d!!! XD

Halloween

2007-11-01T23:00:00.000Z

The 31st of October used to be a day when I'd wished I'm living in a western country rather than dull little Malaysia where there was no trick-or-treating or dressing up in my dull old hometown. It was only in instances like this that I'd failed to appreciate all my dear country has to offer...

Well, this year wish no more, I say! Why? Coz I am in a western country where celebrating Halloween is a social event and people go all out to outdo each other in terms of dressing up!

Was I excited? Well, not really coz I'd kinda outgrown the phase where I can go trick-or-treating. And since I was never exposed to the event since I was small, I was more reluctant than excited about having to dress up to go to the Union to party. But went I did - thanks to Mich's pushing and enthusiasm. At least, now I can say that heck, I celebrated Halloween!!!

All in all, the night was fun. The music at the Union was okay and despite the constant pushing by the people ard us and yours truly's sober-ness, we'd had our fair share of dancing and gila-ing... Speaking of which, we were pushed from one end of the dance floor to the other end!!! Talk about the civility of the Westerners >(

But it was a nice change from our mundane Wednesday night. The DJ was nice enough to play NOSTALGIC songs like 'Backstreet's Back' and 'Wannabe'. Yea, I know - old songs but it got us damn high lo ~ hahaha!!! XD

Thanks Mr DJ!!!

So here's d bits of pic that had me and I actually look nice (and not fat) =p

Yea... very little considering the amt of pics sent by dear Mich but it'll havta do. And don't bother asking me what I went as - it's either as Sam or as 'I-oso-dunno-wad' ><

Oh, and the best dressed went to.............

June!!!

who looks damn scary... eeeek!!!

Tears from Polaris

2007-10-31T02:54:00.000Z

Came across this song tat I really like from 'Smiling Pasta'... Okay, so the drama is a wee bit "erm =.=||| ..." like tat but the song is really nice, so here it is ~

Damn random of me I know but it's freaking close to 3 in the morning!!! Wad do u expect?! XD

Lack of Updates...

2007-10-27T23:41:00.000+01:00

... must mean I'm actually having a whale of a time in Reading, right? Well, yes and no.

Yes coz I do spend a lot of time out and about, hanging out mostly (okay, always) with the Malaysian bunch. It's really nice and fun. We cook meals everyday (separately most times) and eat together. We play poker (I watch only). We sit down and chat about everything under the sun. We go to classes together and all. So yea, am spending the bulk of my time with this wonderful people...

BUT no also coz actually I myself have been too lazy to post in a new entry as my life's now quite routinised and mundane. So more often than not, I find that the only thing I can blog about is the everyday things I do here in Reading. So I'm too kind-hearted to bore everyone with the details =p And also I find that my posts have been getting boring-er and boring-er. So that's another reason -.- Oh yea, and not forgetting that I realise that recently my gab with words has kinda abandon me and I can't really write in anything more thought-provoking and meaningful...

Therefore, this post is mainly for the sake of updating. But hey, at least I make an effort to keep everyone updated about my life here, right?

I've been here for a month dee and life has been good so far. Classes are okay. It's not to hard to follow lectures; that is, assuming I do go for lectures >< Am not, I repeat NOT lazy. The weather here's getting colder and I find the walk to attend a one hour lecture when I can't really concentrate due to my sickness to much of an effort. Couple with that the fact that I cough so much in lectures that I'm kacau-ing others, well I just get too lazy and afraid of bothering people that I choose to sacrifice my GBP40/hour lectures for the sake of my fellow classmates. I know, dang considerate of me, eh? *winks* Life here is all about going to classes, stoning at home, occasional trips to town and a LOT of cooking. Not that cooking's bad - at the very least, it helps ease the crave for Malaysian food and mummy's cooking... Not to mention we get great food sometimes thanks to Master Chef Kok *grins* For example, we had 'bak kut teh' two nights in a row this week and it was simply delish!!! And we had grilled pork steak for lunch!!! Nice...

pics to make you peeps salivate in jealousy *evil grin* *yummy!!!* *sluprz*

What else is new? Oh, yea! We wer emade to attend COMPULSORY english lessons for our very bad English. Think Form 3 standard. The two hour class nearly killed me when I attended the class for the first time yesterday since classes started three weeks ago. It was A-G-O-N-Y!!! *UGH*UGH*UGH* Felt like asking someone to just freaking get a knife and kill me and get it over and done with. Granted my grammar and vocabulary may not be as good as my high school days when I received more exercises and training (that is, if there were any at all) but forcing us to go to some fucking English classes and disguising it as Legal Skills Academic class?! That's just too low, damn it!!! *angry*

Okay, enough about tat. Let's think of more happy moments here in UK. For example, the trip to London with Miao, Kok and Scon today to get my parcel. Yes, a much much much happier thought. We did a bit of shopping in Picadilly Circus and Oxford Street (not me! i din buy anything at all *beams with pride*). Ate nice lunch at Four seasons. And finally got my stash of Malaysian food!!! *happiness*

roasted duck rice with my be-be-beautiFUL miao pigeons!!! random pictures taken in picadilly circus... ... which finally made me FEEL like i'm in UK!!! maybe it's d buildings heck, it is DEFINITELY the buildings!!! and ... *drum rollllllllllllll* my stash!!!

It was a fun day going out today. Just hanging out wif me dear friends who are kind enough to accompany me out to get my stuff. Special thanks to my two heroes who heled me lug the two boxes weighing a total of 20kg all over the stations and all the way bec to Reading!!! I heart you guys!!! ><

And... and... I received a parcel the other day from my aunt in Norwich/Reading!!! She's soooo nice to send me stuff that she tought I might need here!!! So now I've got myself an electric blanket for those dark cold winter nights and two sets of tracksuit for everyday use!!!

I feel so loved!!! Hahahahaha!!! Yes, I AM rubbing it in!!! Wakakakakaka!!!

Enough gloating. Time for something random ~ hot milk and digestive biscuits from Marks & Spencer in the middle of the night equals gourmet heaven for simple humble moi!!!

with my makeshift coaster... any kind souls willing to donate one? =p

Oh, yea! To peeps that I haven't reply their emails, sorry soooo muc!!! I kneel down in the sincerest and humblest of apology m(_ _)m Ditto to those that I haven't emailed at all... Will get to it asap!!! *promise promise promise*

And SOMEONE complained that the font in my blog is too small for his bad eyes so might make it larger soon but let's see how long I'm gonna tik to get ard to actually doing it, shall we?

Well, that's quite a lot of babbling for now... Nights, peeps!!! I miss everyone bec home!!! <3>

ps: sorry la for the WORST english you've ever read... don't worry am getting ZERO credit free english classes so shud improve soon *rolls eyes* so stay tune!!!

Sunday Tradition

2007-10-23T01:13:00.000+01:00

It has been sort of a tradition for the few of us since we're here to go play ball in the basketball court nearby on Sundays - granted, I was only there to watch and stone and etc but *whatever!*

Okay la, so far we've only went twice but it does feel sort of like a tradition and all. It's actually really nice to wake up early on a Sunday (well, 12pm =p) and go out to take a walk and breathe in the fresher air we have here in England.

And there are actually tons of things to do ~

We can enjoy the scenery around us - which btw happens to look nicer than any you'll ever see in Malaysia. Dunno why, maybe its the weather @@

Or we can just chill and relax.

Or better yet, we can camwhore!!!

Or try our hand in artistic photography...

Or just take random pictures =p

We can also learn to ride a bike!!!

And put on a ke lian-slash-pitiful face when we fail XD

So all in all, there's a multitude of things to do on a nice. sunny Sunday morning. I like to think that we're making the most of our stay here by going out and enjoying a typical British afternoon.

Heck, what the hell am I babbling on and on about? Anyways, this post is just to show the nice pictures that we took the last time we went out. Oh, and i just woke up after going to bed at 10pm, so yea. Am DEFINITELY babbling =.=|||

Of Food & Friends

2007-10-17T23:51:00.000+01:00

Porridge cooked by Ping...

Chocolate supply by Rissa...

Nice muffins from London by Mich...

Pasta & roasted chicken by Singapore's Shang, Terence & Nicholas...

Scrumptious pork ribs, fried rice & soup by dear Kok & Kat...

Been tumpang-ing meals at everyone's place and it's been a feast!!! *slurp* So nice having friends who cook =D

Actually, I just wanna post these pics =p

muffins from michie >< kat looking so happy with her fishball ~.~

Emo-ness ~~~

2007-10-16T00:41:00.000+01:00

You know how sometimes you're sick, so far away from home and all that you feel so lonely and sad and pitiful for yourself? That was how I felt for the past few days. It was not so much homesickness as it was missing the comforts of home and the easy availability of everything. The food. The transport. The shopping. The ease of my close friends around me. The mamak. The food. The food.

But honestly, I don't really miss the food that much. It was only the lack of food when I needed them the most that had me in the dumps for the past few days.

Luckily for me, I have a bunch of nice friends here who would try to cheer me up, accommodate the bitchy and emo me, offer me chocolates, giving me solace and just freaking bear with me. For that, I'm really grateful so thanks a bunch, you guys!!!

Seriously, I was never this emo. Or maybe I was but I didn't feel it this acutely coz there was always that sense of security of being in my home ground. So yea, am a bit too emotional for a while.

Luckily also for everyone around me, I got over it in a few days. Maybe not fast enough but that's about the best I can do. I was never good at saying 'Sorry' and all so I would also like to apologise profusely here if I'd offended anyone over these few days.

Everything is significantly better I would say. The sorethroat is gone. The fever is gone. The flu too. What's left now is only the freaking cough... UGH!!! So annoying!!! Would just lapse into a fucking freaking coughing fit out of nowhere =.=||| Sad man!

And so... I skipped TWO classes today!!! Hahahahaha!!! I know I'm bad but it's just too far to go to class for me to bother. All the walking! UGH!!!

Anyways, this is just a short post to chronicle the oh-so-not-typical me who emo-ed too much. For memory's sake I suppose.

Oh, and HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY to the October babies ~ Scon and Desmond!!! Wish y'all the best year in UK!!! (tho i doubt any of you two will actually read this -.-)

And that's all for now... Gonna go watch my Korean drama dee... Nights, peeps!!! ><

Sam is S.I.C.K

2007-10-12T23:34:00.000+01:00

Yes, I am soooo trying to gain sympathy from anyone who cares here -.-

Yes, I am sick. Had a sore throat for a few days, healing process fluctuated a lot, got fever last night and flu this morning. But am feeling better now, I think. Dunno about 2mr though T.T

So yes - to stress once more, I am trying to gain sympathy. Imagine, I'm alone here in UK w/o the comforts of my home. Of coz, I'm entitled to do so, right? Ignore me if you will. I just need to wallow a while in my misery to feel better.

Therefore, any kind souls out there, I am so shamelessly hinting that I've been wanting this doll (or a similar type) for a while dee and if any of you is feeling charitable, do send it to the poor me in UK...

i like this actually but they sold it... ... so there's a similar one and it's on sale!!! *hint*hint*

Hahahahahah!!! Yes, that's actually the main reason for this post ~~~ so, any charitable souls out there? ^^

Here's the website of the people selling the dolls: Split Mind Plush. go there, place the order and have them sent to me. My address in Reading is [My name], Block E Room 4, Sherfield Hall, Northcourt Avenue, Reading, Berkshire RG2 7EY =p

And I know it's not on par with a lot of people's taste but I happen to like it, so there!

BLUEK!!! ><

Of Fire Alarm, Fire Drill and the Freaking Rain

2007-10-09T16:18:00.000+01:00

Just realized that I forgot to mention the little fire alarm incident. So, here's wad happened...

Went to shower on Thursday night. As usual, I closed the bathroom door and switched on the hot water coz it's effing cold and I like to heat up the shower a bit first. The I went about removing my make-up la. The bathroom was getting quite steamy as the water was particularly hot that day. As I stepped into the shower, the freaking fire alarm went off. First thing that came to mind, "Shit! It's not me, is it?" I panicked a bit then grab some clothes on and went outside. Even went so far and stoopid as to say, "I think it's me..." =.= Smart ass, right? Anyways, fire brigade came and all. And it turned out it wasn't my room but someone else's who was smart enough to shower with the freaking bathroom door opened!!!

And so, I got framed for like 15 minutes and I was freaking scolded by the warden-ish guy and was "SAM!!! It's so cold here!!!"-ed by everyone... Great way to start the year =.=

As if that's not enough, there was a freaking fire drill on Friday morning at freaking 8 plus in the morning. When it sounded off, I thought groggily to myself, "It couldn't possibly be me, could it? I'm not showering..." But whatever la, was too dang blur s I just went out with my shorts and T-shirt and nearly freezed coz it was so cold that morning!!!

Okay, so much for my narrative skills. Think I'm just freaking sprouting nonsense here. But anyways, it rained the whole afternoon to day. And our classes are everywhere so we had to freaking walk freaking far-ish to class in the freaking cold rain!!! *UGH!!!* Hate the weather >(

Anyways, it was so cold that by the time I came bec to my room, I couldn't really feel my hands anymore. It was seriously freezing. And the wind... oh, don't get me started on the wind!!!

So yea, that's my day so far. Am sooo talking nonsense so whoever reading this, congrats! You've just wasted your precious 10 minutes. Sorry but brain is too frozen to function =.=

But to make it worth everyone's while. Here's some pics from when I went to Ealing with Master Yon to find Chals ><

9 Days in Reading

2007-10-07T23:40:00.000+01:00

caution: freaking long itinerary-ish post with loads of pics XD

I cannot eff-ing believe that I've been here for 9 days dee!!! OMG!!! How does time fly, eh?

So what have I been up to? Let's start day by day ya?

Day 1: Saturday, 29/9
Touched down at Heathrow around 7am. Go through immigration. Grilled about my status coz I was smart enuf as Master Yon put it to fucking forgot my offer letter. Went through the health check. Got our luggage. Waited for everyone. Lugged luggage out to take bus to Reading (thanx yon!!!). Decided to take a taxi instead. Reached the University. Got my keys and all. Went to my room. Tried unpacking unsuccessfully. Walked to town. Had lunch at freaking fucking expensive Chilli's. Bought shower geland shampoo and hand wash at Boots. Bought duvet and pillows and bathroom mat and mug and stoopid stuff at Woolsworth and Primark. Got my Orange pre-paid card. Went home. Unpacked with Mich's and Kat's help. Stoned in room. Went for walk at night. Slept.

Day 2: Sunday, 30/9
Woke up. Went JCR. Registered. Paid fees. Took cab to Reading station. Rushed to London. Went to Tesco for something. Bought roasted duck and char siew rice. Rushed to Ealing to meet Chals. Has brunch at McD's. Walked a bit. Bought hanger, shampoo and etc from a one-pound shop. Chatted. Walked a bit more. Rushed to Euston. Got Yon's ticket bec to Liverpool. Walked to Euston Square. Took train bec to Paddington. Train bec to Reading. Cab bec to Sherfield. Showered. Slept.

Day 3: Monday, 1/10
Woke up. Went to Foxhill. Got letter from Humms. Queued up for appointment at lloyds. took bus to town. Bought groceries etc. Got harassed on the bus bec. Came bec. Stoned. Chatted. Hanged around. Slept.

Day 4: Tuesday, 2/10
Woke up at 11am. Went to collect access card. Went for bank appointment. Went to Foxhill. See Woo for groceries. Came bec. Ate luncheon meat and veggies cooked by Chef Ying for dinner. Hanged around and chatted. Slept.

Day 5: Wednesday, 3/10
Foxhill again I think. Went to town with Kat. shopped. Etc. Etc. Came bec and ate noodles with veggies courtesy of Chef Mich. Went upstairs. Hang out with Joel, Terence, Mich, etc. Laughed. Bisinged. Went to Suki's place. Laughed sumore. Bisinged sumore. Went home.

Day 6: Thursday, 4/10
Went to town again. Bought A LOT of stuff. Walked there and bec. Came bec. I cooked dinner. Ate dinner. Hang out again with the people. Laughed our asses off. Bisinged a lot. Bisinged a bit more. Went bec to sleep.

Day 7: Friday, 5/10
Stayed at home. Rest feet a bit. Went to JCR for a bit at night. Walked to town with a freaking big bunch of people. Revolution. Had fun. Drank. Walked bec. Zonked out.

Day 8: Saturday, 6/10
Self-confined imprisonment within Block E the whole day. Hanged out with the upstairs gang. Watched Rissa cook. Hanged out with Rissa. Slept.

Day 9: Sunday, 7/10
Woke up a bit early. Went to see the guys and a girl play basketball. Stoned with Mandy. Walked a bit. Sat a bit. Went Morrison's to get dinner. Came bec. Chilled. Cooked dinner (kind of). Okay la, Mich did most of the work la =p Went up and down kacau-ing Kok, Kat and Serene. Dinner. Hanged out. Laughed and chatted. Washed up. Came down. Showered. Blogging.

Yep, that's about all for these few days. Been very busy getting everything done. Walked eff-ing a lot. Had quite a bit of fun with everyone. Got to know more people better. The only day when i did Absolutely nothing was on Saturday and it was good coz it rested my poor poor feet a bit. But all in all it's been good so far. Hopefully it'll continue for the rest of the year =)

Anyways, class is officially starting 2mr *cue: BIG SIGH* Am soooo not looking forward to it. The pressure to do well. The pressure to pay attention and make my parents' money worth it. The pressure to keep up. Sigh... am NOT excited.

So far have not been homesick. Which is good too. I don't want to damn emo in my room la. Other than that, it was fine. Not that I don't miss my friends and family bec home tho. I do. But technically it's not that much different from the times I'd spent living away from home for the past 3 years. I dpn't see much of them anyways. So am doing fine in that sense.

The only time I missed home was when I was video calling home and I 'talked' to Gypsy. Missed my doggie!!! I know, I'm soooo bad for missing her the most. But, but the longest I'd spent away from her was like one week plus I tink. So of coz I miss her!!! And worse, you see so many people walking their dogs here that it just inadvertently reminded me of my own cute baby... Sobz ='(

Okay, pics!!!

Friday's night out Me room My room after Steph helped made it bigger (thanx babe!!! <3) My swivel chair with icky whitish suspect thingy on which I had to cover with cushion =p My messy pile at the end of the table which I'd yet to sort My bathroom My kitchen My new purchases!!! [da shoes] [GBP19 coat from New Look + GBP1 skirt form Debenhams]

Btw got printer and fan heater oso but forgot and too lazy to take pics dee la... tis sumwhere in the pics... Go look for them la if u really wanna see =p

So that's all for now!!! Ciaoz >< ps: fucking spent a freaking fucking ma tiu lot of money!!! shit!!! die man!!!